


Good Luck Charm

by NightshadeDawn



Series: The Hostesses [1]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Multiple Personalities, Original Character Death(s), POV Original Character, POV Original Female Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Violence, Young Love, kinda slow burn, premature death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-04-23 11:38:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightshadeDawn/pseuds/NightshadeDawn
Summary: Penny is the shyest girl anyone's ever met. But she's also the brainiest. Add onto a crazy alter ego, and you've got a recipe for disaster. When she gets shipped off to Japan, meeting the Ouran Highschool Host Club isn't something she planned on. Nor did she plan on falling in love.





	1. Find a Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks dangerous, until she takes the mask off. But she'd rather not hide any of her.

        _"Nikki, Nikki, come out come out!"_

        Even now, I can hear them. Voices of the past. Taunting me. Telling me I could something more than I am. Have the family that was so horribly taken from me in the events years ago.

        They made me believe I could have a family again. That once more, I could be happy. Things like that just don't happen, though. 

        Life doesn't have a happily ever after.

        I should know.

        The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I walked to the end of the alley. Fredrick followed behind me. He threw the boy dragged behind us on the ground in front of us, trapping him in with no way to escape. I popped some gum as I stared at him through my sunglasses. 

        My hands rested loosely folded in front of me as I silently chewed on my gum. The boy in front of me and Fredrick paled greatly as he looked between us, sweat dripping down his neck.

        "Freddie?" I said, looking over at him. My spine prickled as Fredrick nodded and walked over to the boy and knelt down in front of him, glaring harshly.

        "So, you really sought to escape us?" he questioned. 

        "N-No!" the boy shouted, scooting away. "I- I swear! I wasn't going to tell a soul what I saw!"

        "You see, now, we'd really like to believe you," Fredrick said, moving closer and grabbing the boy's chin and getting close into his face. "But we're really not all that trusting. So many have lied to us before." Fredrick smirked and raised an eyebrow at the boy. "And do you know what happens when someone lies to us?"

        The boy gulped and nodded quickly, or at least tried to. Fredrick's grip on his chin didn't allow him to. Fredrick nodded at him and smiled.

        "Good," he said. "So, we'll be needing insurance that you won't squeal on us."

        "Wh-What do you want?" the boy asked, looking between us. 

        Hmph. There were a good lot of things I wanted. But we needed something specific at this point.

        I hardened my resolve and walked over, waving Fredrick out of the way.

        "I'll tell you what we want," I stated. Fredrick gave me a glance. 

        "You sure, Nikki?" he asked me. I nodded sharply and snapped my fingers. He backed up and shut his mouth.

        "My request is simple," I said, leaning against the red and white bricks of the walls surrounding us. I pulled out the object in the holster at my waist, twirling it in my hands. "I want you father's wallet. With everything in it. And if we don't get it by noon tomorrow..." I walked over to the shaking boy and held out the object in front of me. " _Bang_."

        The boy nodded quickly. "Y-Yes!" he shouted, closing his eyes in fear. "Any-Anything you want!"

        I put the gun to his throat as I got closer to him. I stared at him over the top of my glasses. "And _no one_ finds out, understand?" I growled. He nodded quickly. "Meet us back here by noon tomorrow." I stood up and to the side. Fredrick stood to the side as well.

        The boy picked himself off of the ground and cautiously walked out of the alley. As soon as he was out of the alley, he sprinted off. 

        "Think we scared him into getting it?" Fredrick asked, folding his arms and leaning a bit in my direction from the side. I did the same and nodded.

        "Yes," I stated. "He's going to be too scared to think about it, so he's going to get us that card to save his own skin." I held the object out in front of me. "Didn't even realize it was a water gun."

        Well, to be truthful, it _did_ look like a real one. But it wasn't. Real ones and I weren't on good terms...

        "Come on," Fredrick said. "We need to get back."

        I sighed and nodded. "Come on," I said, beginning to walk. "Let's go."

        Fredrick walked by my side. We walked in silence. Comfortable silence. 

        We were _so close_. I could almost taste our freedom. Soon, we'd be away from those "houses". From those foster homes. 

        As we walked, I pulled off my prescription sunglasses and traded them out for my usual, large framed glasses. Then I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and pulled a white button up over my tank top. A skirt over my shorts finished my transition. Fredrick, who'd been wearing his shirt inside out, just turned his shirt the right way, so the black was inside and a light green was showing.

        He stuck his hands in his jean pockets and began whistling a tune.

        "I miss my camera," he whined. 

        I clicked my tongue. "You're just going to have to deal with it," I teased, folding my hands in front of me, the backpack that had held my clothes rested on my back. "You'll get it when we go back."

        Fredrick scoffed and ruffled my hair. 

        "Fredrick!" I exclaimed, batting at his hand.

        "Nikki!" he teased, picking me up and spinning me around. "You're just too adorable!"

        We got odd looks from people out on the street, but others just chuckled at our antics. 

        "Ah, too be young. What an adorable couple," one said.

        Afterwards, Fredrick took my hand after setting me down and we walked back to the houses.

        I stared at our combined hands. 

        "Your hands are so big compared to mine," I said softly. "I just look so- teeny standing next to you." I looked up at the chuckling Fredrick.

        "There's no need to be so down about it," he said, winking at me. "Teeny is useful too, you know. I mean, I couldn't use my big hands to do what you do on computers, as fast as you do. I couldn't paint like you either."

        I blushed, but instead of letting him see the compliment got to me, I puffed out my cheeks irritably. "I know that," I said, letting go of his hand and folding my arms. I turned my head forward sharply and began strutting away. "And I wasn't being down about it. I was stating a fact."

        Fredrick laughed. He got back in step with me and put his hands behind his head. "Sure, Nikki, sure," he said.

        We arrived at the houses as the sun set.

        One was a bright white house with black trim. The dark brown front door had a colorful, round stained glass window on it and a black iron handle. In one of the top windows hung pink curtains, blowing in the breeze from the open window. A willow tree stood near the house, its branches hanging low as if truly weeping and went just high enough to make it perfect for climbing out of the second story.

        The other house was similar, but more of an off white color with grey trimmings. The front door held no window, but there was a large one right by it that showed into the living room through the open curtains. On the TV, I could see a couple boys playing a game. And past them in the dining room, I could see another setting the table. This house also had a tree, but this one was an oak, reaching for the sky as if to escape the earth.

        I turned to Fredrick and opened my mouth to say something to him. But before I could get a word out, he surprised me by placing his lips on my cheek.

        Then he was heading to the off white house. "See you tomorrow," he said, opening the door. "Sweet dreams. That blush looks good on you."

        I touched my cheek where he'd kissed me and could feel the heat in my palm.

        "What an ass," I grumbled as I headed toward the girls' home.

        I opened the door to hear loud squealing and screaming of the other girls. I slammed the door behind me, but it couldn't be heard over all the noise. I groaned and headed up to my room. 

        When I entered my room, my roommate, Shelbie, was in the middle of painting her ridiculously long nails.

        "Oh, it's you," she snapped, rolling her eyes and going back to her nails. She was currently doing them in a bright, vivid green. Neon, if I wasn't mistaken.

        I sat on my bed and pulled out the old suitcase from under it. Old and dirty and broken, and probably should have been thrown out, but I just couldn't part with it. It was the last thing I had of my parents. My real parents.

        The ring that used to be my mother's was currently worn by Shelbie, and she never seemed to sleep, so I'd never been able to get if off of her. 

        I opened the suitcase and pulled out the laptop that was in it. Also very banged up on the outside, but in perfect condition on the inside.

        I sat against my bed rail and tapped on the keys, typing up my report on the day. If all went to plan, from my calculations, me and Fredrick would be able to get out of here in a few days, a week at most. Then we'd go cross country, maybe cross a boarder out of here, and be free from having to live like this.

        In these stupid homes. 

        Shelbie groaned and tossed down her nail file. "Oh. My. God," she snapped, sitting up. "Can I _not_ get some peace and quiet?" She glared harshly at me and I shrunk back. "Stop all of that goddamn typing. It's giving me a headache."

        I sat, frozen. The sharp glint in Shelbie's eyes sending a shiver down my spine.

        Like a lion, she stalked over to me. I flinched, tightening my eyes closed, as I waited for the smack. It never came. Instead, a crash resounded throughout the room. I opened my eyes just in time to see my computer crash to the floor. 

        Shelbie cackled. "Next time, don't even open it," she said. Just then, the door burst open and four or five girls ran into the room, including the house mother: Miss Louis.

        "What's going on in here?" Gabriela demanded. She was one of the older girls, almost eighteen. Her long black hair fell to her mid back, and her brown eyes were looking between me and Shelbie.

        "We heard a crash," Misty said quietly, fiddling with her fingers. "And came to see what was wrong."

        Shelbie scoffed. "Nikki just being Nikki," she said in a voice sickly sweet. "Being the same old klutz she always is."

        Miss Louis sighed and leaned against the door frame. "Oh, okay," she said. I could see bags under her eyes. Her looked exhausted. But what else could you expect with thirteen girls aged five to seventeen? "Come on, girls, dinner's ready."

        The girls exited the room followed by Miss Louis, the only one who stayed being Gabriela. She stared at me a moment with folded arms before coming over to me.

        She knelt on the ground and picked up my computer, shutting it and setting it on my bed after examining it.

        "Well, it's not broken," she said. She sat by me and brushed her hair behind her shoulder. "What about you?"

        I looked down and to my other side. "I-I-I'm f-fine," I said. "I-I'm n-not h-hurt."

        "That's not what I'm talking about," Gabriela said, reaching out her arms and taking hold of me tightly. I squeaked in surprise and turned my head to look at her. 

        Her eyes were closed as she hugged me, my arms pinned to my side. I struggled for a moment, but it was no use. 

        "L-Let me-me go!" I exclaimed, wiggling in her arms. 

        Instead of complying with my wishes, Gabriela pulled me into her lap. She held me tighter and I could feel her nestle her face into my hair. 

        "God, I don't know how you do it," she said, her voice muffled. "You always smell so good. Like peaches. And I love your hair. So pretty and shiny, like a shiny, new copper penny." I could feel my neck going red from the rushing blood. Then she loosened her grip. "But you know what I was talking about."

        I shook my head, now thoroughly confused. 

        "Nikki, I know it's hard," she said. "I know what Shelbie does to you, I've seen the bruises. And I know what some of the other girls say about you. You lost your family once, then found another, only to loose it again."

        I felt a sting in my heart.

        _You aren't good enough. They left because you weren't good enough. You'll never meet anyone's expectations. You'll always be a failure. A screw up. You're good for nothing._

_Who wants a child that was abandoned by the family that adopted her?_

        Gabriela sighed mournfully. "And being where you are now, it's going to be even harder to get a family."

        I chuckled dryly. "H-Hard?" I muttered, looking down at my hands. "M-More l-l-like im-impossible."

        I could feel a tear run down my cheek and drip onto Gabriela's arm. I blinked any others away. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't. I couldn't let myself.

        "Nothing's impossible," Gabriela told me. "What about me?"

        I turned my head to look at her, tears still threatening my eyes. "Huh?"

        Gabriela lifted her head and smiled at me. "Can I be your family?" she asked. "I've always wanted a little sister."

        I couldn't help it, my tears began to fall down my face. I whipped my head around so Gabriela couldn't see them.

        I gripped her arms around me, as if to attempt to pull them off. She held on tightly. 

        She leaned down to whisper in my ear. "So, whatta you say, Nikki?" she asked. "Can I be your family?"

         _Family? Do I really deserve one? Can- Can I really have one?_

        "Yes."

* * *

        "Change of plans," I said as soon as I met Fredrick in front of the public library. 

        "What?" Fredrick asked in surprise as I pushed my way through the glass doors into the lobby. "Why?"

        "We're taking Gabriela with us," I stated matter-of-factly.

        "Gabriela?" Fredrick wondered. I made my way over to the steps and began taking them by twos. "Isn't she the one who's turning eighteen in a couple months?"

        "Well, yeah," I told him. 

        "Then why are we including her?" Fredrick questioned with a groaned. "She's already almost out of the system."

        I rounded on him, almost on the top step. "Are you questioning me?" I growled. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

        Fredrick shook his head. I could see his camera at his side, the first I was noticing it. The beeping red light meant it was on, so it'd been filming this whole time.

        "The reasons for bringing her are mine alone," I told him. Then I turned back around and continued up the stairs.

        I headed directly for the computers as soon as I was up on the second floor. Fredrick followed closely the whole time. 

        "Quick question," Fredrick as as we sat down. He positioned the camera so it was facing both of us. "Why not just use _your_ computer?"

        "It's harder to track if it's on a computer anyone can use, and anyone can be logged on to," I said with a smirk. "Got the wallet?" I held my hand out to Fredrick and he placed a thick leather wallet into it. 

        I opened it and began sifting through it, trying to find the paper I knew would be in there. 

        "Cute kids," I noted as I flipped passed the family pictures. "But no information."

        I went to set it on the table, but it didn't stay and instead fell to the ground and scattered it's contents. I reached down to pick them up and found something wedged in between some of the family pictures.

        "What's this?" I questioned softly, picking it up while leaving the rest on the ground.

        I opened the folded paper to see a bunch of numbers. My mind was already looking for a code before I'd even processed what it was. 

        "This is it!" I exclaimed. I turned back to the computer and logged onto it with the library card I'd taken from Shelbie. I clicked on a few icons and pushed a few buttons and a black screen appeared on the monitor. Then green numbers began scrolling.

        I had to put the correct numbers in, in the correct order, at the exact correct time. Or else this whole thing would be blown.

        I smiled at the challenge.

        "Make sure no one sees," I ordered Fredrick. "That's the only way now anyone will know what I'm doing."

        Fredrick nodded and I began tapping the buttons on the keyboard at lightning speed, counting off the numbers and occasional letters as I went. Fredrick was dead silent. 

        We'd done many a thing before, but this was by far the biggest job I'd ever done.

        Messing it up was not an option.

        "Three. Seven. Two. One. H. Five. Five. Eight. Seven. Nine. A," I counted off softly, almost inaudible.

        Then, the screen blinked. I froze. 

        "Nikki?!" Fredrick exclaimed. "What happened?"

        "I- I don't-" I stuttered, my eyes wide as I stared at the screen. 

        I didn't touch anything. I didn't move. 

        Did I mess up? Did I click something wrong?

        No, no I did everything right. So did they figure us out? Did they catch us trying to hack our way in?

        The a message blinked onto the screen.

        WELCOME. YOU MAY NOW ENTER.

        I breathed a sigh of relief. 

        "We're in," I said breathilly.

        Fredrick clapped me on the back. Then he smiled at me. "Knew you could do it," he said. I smiled back up at him before it faded. I turned back to computer. 

        "We're not done quite _yet_ ," I told him, cracking my knuckles. "This had only just begun."

        Fredrick took his seat again and stared at the screen in front of me as I clicked on various links.

        "So, how much we gonna take?" he asked. 

        I shrugged, but smiled. "Well, we can't take enough so they notice right away," I told him. "But..." I turned to look at him. "We need to have a little fun. How's three mil sound?"

        Fredrick gawked. Then he laughed and shook his head, proceeding to slap his knee. "I like your style, kid," he told me. I smirked and turned back to my work.

        "Thanks."

        I took three million dollars from the government and placed it in a bank account we'd set up months previous, fake of course. Only needed until we got out of there. 

        It took five intense minutes of waiting before all of it was deposited. Then we shut down the computer and skedaddled out of there. 

        "We're rich!" Fredrick cheered as we walked down the street, pumping his fist in the air. I smiled happily and couldn't keep the skip out of my step. "So, what'll we do first?" He looked at me and smiled happily.

        I rolled my eyes. "We don't touch the money until at least tomorrow," I said. I placed one of the fake credit cards in his hand and poked him in the nose. Then I smiled as well. "Tonight, we escape."

        As soon as we reached the block to go back to the houses, we parted ways. I was going to go inform Gabriela of the plan, and Fredrick was going to make sure everything was prepared.

        Without pausing, I ran through the front door and allow it to slam behind me. A few of the surprised girls watch me run up the stairs three at a time before stopping in front of Gabriela's door. 

        I throw it open to see Gabriela on her knees in front of her bookshelf, an open book on her lap. 

        "Oh, Nikki," she said, smiling widely at me. "What brings you here?"

        I walked into the room and shut the door behind me softly. "Sarah isn't due back any time soon, is she?" I asked. Gabriela shook her head. 

        "Her shift isn't over until six. So what's up?" She pats the floor by her side and I sit down. I hesitated for a moment. 

        What if she didn't want to go with us? What if she told on us?

        "Gabriela...?" I said softly, looking down at my own lap.

        "What is it, sweetie?" she asked, brushed hair out of my face and tilting it towards her.

        I bit my lip before answering. "You- You know Fredrick, right?" I asked. "From next door?"

        "Of course," Gabriela said with a smile. "You hang out with him everyday."

        I nodded quickly. "Y-Yeah," I said. "Anyway, me and Fredrick kind of had a plan..."

        Gabriela immediately froze. "What kind of plan?" she questioned fiercely. 

        I steeled my nerves. I couldn't back down now. "We're not going to get adopted anyway, Gabriela," I said, my eyes pleading with her to understand. "We're too old for that now, and besides no one wants kids like us. The one everyone abandoned and the one with the drunk parents who won't give up their rights. Please, Gabriela."

        Gabriela gaped at me, surprise evident in her bright brown eyes. "You're planning on running away..." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. 

        I turned away and lowered my head. I knew it, she wouldn't want us to do it. She'd try to stop us, say it was for our own good...

        "And you want me to do something to stop you?" she asked with a sigh. I shook my head.

        "No," I said softly. "I- I want you to some with us."

        I looked up with her in my eyes. 

        "Gabriela, I can't stay here any longer," I said, the tears stinging my eyes harshly. "This house or this town. There are too many bad memories. I have to leave, start again. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. But I want you to start again with us."

        Gabriela blinked at me. But she didn't say a word. The silence made me agitated, and I couldn't take it anymore.

        I pulled myself to my feet. "I-I knew it," I said, choking on my words. I turned for the door. "I knew you wouldn't want to-" I reached out for the handle, but just as I did, Gabriela pulled me back.

        "Thank you," she whispered. Then she turned me around and stared at me sharply. "Nikki, I wanted to as a child. I wanted to run so bad as all my friends got adopted, one right after another. We'd promise to run together, but then they'd just get adopted and the truth is, I was too scared to run on my own."

        I stared at her, but didn't dare interrupt as she continued. 

        "I'm going to be out of here in weeks," she said, smiling more kindly now. "I've really no need to stay now. I've no need to go either, but it won't matter. You're going to need me out there, so I'll go with you." Gabriela pulled me into an embrace like never before. I hugged her back. "You gave me the chance to do something I've been scared to do my whole life: be brave. You, Nikki, are the bravest girl I know."

        "I'm not brave," I whispered into Gabriela's shoulder, making it further muffled. There was no chance she could have heard. 

        "When do we leave?" Gabriela asked, now getting excited as she pulled back.

        "Erm..." I said, tapping my fingers together nervously. "Tonight?" 

        Gabriela's jaw dropped open. "You really didn't give me much time," she said. Then she stood, helping me to my feet. "So, you'll have to go. Make any last minute preparations, kid. I'll get myself ready."

        I smiled at her. "Thank you, Gabriela," I said softly. She gave me a look.

        "Don't thank me," she told me. "You guys need an adult to take care of things. And if I can't stop you, I've got to help you."

        I nodded my head. "We leave at nine thirty," I told her. "That's the plan. Everyone will get be getting into bed, and no one will notice us sneaking out."

        Gabriela nodded. "Now, go," she said, ushering me out. "No suspicions."

        I nodded and hurried out. I went into my room, thankfully Shelbie being absent, and looked under my bed. I pulled out the suitcase and opened it. It had everything I'd need. My warmest clothes, a few pairs of socks, extra underwear, a toothbrush, a cloth for my glasses along with my sunglasses. But most importantly, it had my computer and a chest with a custom lock on it.

        I took a deep breath before pulling out the chest. 

        As it wasn't locked, I opened it easily. Inside wasn't much. Only a few papers and a disk. But the disk was what was important. It held the first time I met Fredrick on it. And a few other moments, but that was my favorite. 

        I took the disk out of it's casing and put it in my computer. 

        I stuck my headphones on a clicked for the disk to play.

        I smiled as the figures came into focus. 

         _"Hey, Miss Anderson! Who's that?" a young voice asked form behind the camera. The camera was pointed at a black car as it pulled up. A girl with copper hair climbed out of the backseat after the door was opened by the driver._

_The boy turned the camera to a blonde woman who was smiling. She was turned to look towards the people. "Oh, that must be the newest McHarken," she said. "Brittney and Harold just adopted a little girl the other day." Then she turned to the camera. "Why don't you go say hi, Fredrick? Make her feel welcome to the neighborhood."_

_"Sure!" Fredrick exclaimed, running over to the white fence that separated their yards. The man knocked on the door and it opened before Fredrick could say anything. Then he led the little girl in. "Oh, I'll just wait here then."_

_Fredrick took the camera away from that view before turning it towards him, his reddish hair a mess but large golden eyes sparkling. Then the camera cut black. When images came back, the camera was pointed at a family of ducks walking down the street._

_"I wonder if she likes ducks," Fredrick pondered aloud._

_"Hey, look, new girl's coming back out!" a boy called._

_"Really?!" Fredrick exclaimed. There was a rustle as if he were standing and then the camera was being picked up. Brittney McHarken was pushing the new girl out of the house gently._

_"You don't need to worry," she said. "There are some nice children in the neighborhood. You can play with them."_

_"Y-Yeah," the girl said quietly. Fredrick stopped by the fence once again and watch her. After Brittney had gone inside, the girl crept over to the large cherry tree and hid behind it._

_Fredrick followed her. When he got around the corner, he saw her leaning against the trunk with her hands behind her back._

_"Hey, who are you?" Fredrick asked the girl. She looked up at him sharply before squeaking and hiding behind the tree again. She poked her head out of the side of the tree, it tainted slightly pink._

_"Wh-Who a-are y-you?" she stuttered bashfully._

_Fredrick pointed to his chest and said proudly "I'm Fredrick! I live next door!"_

_The girl blinked her green eyes at him. "Fredrick is a prince's name. A noble name meaning peaceful ruler. Are you a prince?" She tilted her head in question._

_"Wha-What would make you think I'm a prince?!" he exclaimed._

_"Didn't I just state my reason?" she questioned blankly. "Your name is commonly used in Germany. Frid being peaceful, and ric being ruler or power. Rulers of the Holy Roman Empire, Germany, Austria, Scandinavia, and Prussia had the same name, or at least something similar. But it is also commonly used in places such as England or Wales. Now, answer my question. Are you a prince or not?"_

_The girl pursed her lips in a pout._

_"Oh, uh, no..." the boy told her. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "W-Wait!" he exclaimed, waving his hands about, making the camera shake. "What's your name?"_

_"P- N-Nikki," she said, looking down. "M-My n-name's N-Nikki... It means someone with an imaginative personality and the ability to avoid trouble. Restless, sociable, people oriented, a lover of change. Not- Not me at all."_

_Fredrick sat down in the grass and patted the spot by him, the camera trained on him now. "Come on," he said, smiling widely. "I can't tell just_ anyone _about me being a prince."_

_Hesitantly, the girl sat down by him._

_"So you're really a prince?" Nikki asked curiously. To prevent the girl from breaking out in tears, Fredrick nodded._

_"Yup!" he exclaimed. "I'm here to run away from a bunch of bad guys who want to steal a magical ring my father gave me. They'd never imagine I'd be here." He flashed the girl a brilliant smile. Nikki was enraptured by his story._

_"What can the ring do?" Nikki questioned, getting on her hands and knees._

_"Oh, a whole lot of things!" Fredrick said. "But the main thing it can do it grant wishes!"_

_"Wow!" Nikki said, giggling happily. "Do you think it could grant my wish?"_

_"Maybe..." Fredrick said._

_"So where's the ring?" Nikki asked enthusiastically. "Can I see it?"_

_"Well," Fredrick said, scratching the back of his head and biting his lip. "I kinda... lost it."_

_Nikki's jaw dropped. "No way!" she said. She clapped her hands over her mouth. "That's terrible! We'll have to find it!"_

_"Wh-What?" Fredrick asked, blinking at her. Nikki got to her feet determinedly and put her hands on her hips._

_"Well, it's a royal artifact and you'll definitely not be allowed back into your kingdom or allowed to take your inheritance unless you have it," she said, pointing to Fredrick. "It's in all the books. So we have to find your ring so you can go save the day and win back your kingdom. And I'm going to help!"_

_Fredrick gaped at her. But in the end, Nikki had dragged Fredrick to his feet and had pulled him all around the neighborhood in an elaborate search for his missing magic ring. Fredrick filming every minute of their adventure._

_Hours later when the sun was coming down, they were called home._

_"So, what did you do today?" Brittney asked Nikki as she was ushered in._

_"I helped Prince Fredrick look for his missing magic ring!" Nikki exclaimed happily. "And we're going to look again tomorrow!"_

_"Oh, is that so?" Brittney asked with a laugh._

_By two weeks end, it had turned into a wonderful game for Fredrick. Telling Nikki tales of his amazing adventures as a prince. Then they'd go in search of his ring._

_One day, it was around ten o'clock. And Nikki still hadn't met Fredrick by the cherry tree._

_"Where is she?" he muttered. He walked up to her door and knocked on it. Brittney opened it and beamed down at him. He couldn't help but think how different Nikki looked from this woman._

_"Hello there," she said kindly. "What can I do for you?"_

_"I was just wondering about Nikki," Fredrick said. "She hasn't come outside yet."_

_"Well, I believe she's still asleep," Brittney said, looking over her shoulder. Then she smiled at Fredrick again. "You could go wake her up if you like."_

_Fredrick smiled at her as well. "I will," he said._

_"Right up the stairs and to the right," she said, painting._

_Fredrick nodded and began going in the direction he was told to. Soon, a young boy in footie pajamas began following him._

_"Who're you?" Fredrick asked halfway up the stairs._

_"I'm Joshua," the boy said. "Nikki's my little sister."_

_Fredrick couldn't help but think that Nikki was bigger than this scrawny kid, even at eight, but he didn't say anything. Fredrick shrugged and they continued to Nikki's room._

_They snuck into the room and over to the sleeping Nikki, who was cocooned in her fluffy, pale green comforter. Fredrick through it cruel to wake her up, since she looked so much like an angel._

_He walked over and zoomed in on her sleeping face. Then Joshua pounced on Nikki, starling her awake. Fredrick zoomed out quickly as Joshua shouted "Nikki! It's time to wake up!"_

_Nikki stared at the two boys wide eyed before screeching loudly and throwing a pillow at both of them. "Get out of my room!" she wailed. "Out!"_

_Both boys scrambled out of the room and a few moments later, Nikki emerged fully dressed. "Never again," she growled. "Never, EVER again. Got it?"_

_"Yes ma'me!" Joshua and Fredrick said, terrified out of their minds._

_"By the way," Nikki said, turning to Fredrick, now back to her sweet and innocent self. "I was wondering. What exactly does your ring look like?"_

_"Oh, uh..." Fredrick said, paling. He hadn't prepared for this questioned. "It's, um, it's got a... green gem in the middle... And it's got a vine and leaf like design engraved into it... And, um... And its band is... Crystal!"_

_"Crystal?" Nikki asked in amazement. "Wow! Doesn't it make it hard to see the design though?"_

_Fredrick shook his head. "Nope," he said. "Because the engraving is painted gold!"_

I smiled as I watch Fredrick and the young me's adventures. We had a lot of fun back then. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner. Then we were getting ready for bed. 

        I pulled the covers back on my bed when Shelbie walked into our room.

        "I'm going to bathe," she said. "So don't bug me while I'm in there." We had a multi-person bathroom, of course.

        I turned my back to her and listened as the door slammed. I turned back around and noticed something shiny on Shelbie's nightstand.

        "Mom's ring..." I said breathlessly. I snatched it up and slipped it on my finger. It felt as if it had always been there, just as it should have been. Quickly, I pulled out the chest out from under my bed and locked it. I stuck the ring in the lock and turned it. There was a soft click. My face broke out in a grin as I opened the case effortlessly.

        Yes, it still worked. 

        I smiled happily and kissed the ring.

        "Thank you, Mama," I said. Then I shut the case once again and stuck it in my suitcase. I put the suitcase on my bed and tightened my laces. It was time to go.

        I opened the window wide and began to climb out.

        But then I looked at the ring again. I didn't want to risk it getting stolen, again, or worse, losing it. And- it was the only thing that could open my chest. I brought the ring to over my heart and said a silent prayer. 

        "I'm sorry, Mommy," I said, taking the ring back off and setting it down where I found it.

        I had the chest for the pure reason that one day, I would lock it. I'd lock it, and no one but the one with the ring would be able to open it. The information in there no one would be able to ever see again. Just in case.

        But- it wouldn't be protected if it was with me. No, I had to leave it here.

        I took my case tightly in my hands and climbed out of the window and onto the willow tree. I climbed expertly down the branches. I began heading over to the boys' home when I heard the front door open. I froze, my back against the wall.

        "Oh, you know how forgetful I can be," a voice said. "I'm just going to the store to buy some lady things before I go to bed. I'll be back in a little while, Miss Louis."

        Then the door closed and Gabriela came into view.

        "You almost gave me a heart attack," I accused her when I walked into her view. She jumped and whipped around.

        "Speak for yourself," she told me. "Come on, where's Fredrick?"

        "Right here," came his voice. He walked into view, his camera bag over one shoulder and a backpack over his other.

        "Come on then, let's go," Gabriela said. "I have everything else I need in my car."

        We drove for hours, it seemed, into the dark. The exileration of having actually left the home was thrilling. Adrenaline pumped in my veins, and I just felt the need to laugh, to run. I was free. I was finally free. 

        I'm free...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fredrick: Hey, Nikki, you seen Gabriela?  
> Nikki: No, why?  
> Fredrick: Oh, no reason. But there was something else I was wondering.  
> Nikki: Hmm?  
> Fredrick: You're bad ass enough to carry a real gun. Why don't you?  
> Nikki: Uh...  
> Gabriela: Oh, hey, guys. There was something I was wondering, too. What's with your personality changes?  
> Nikki: Oh, uh, um...! Next time, in chapter two! Flip of a Coin!  
> Fredrick: You're dodging the question.  
> Nikki: Am not! Out of time!  
> Fredrick: Awe man!


	2. Flip of a Coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if things hadn't already been complicated...

        It had been a week. We'd finally been able to leave the homes, and we'd been free for a week. No one was the wiser to the truth. After all, kids ran away all the time. They couldn't keep track of all the orphans. 

        It had been so exhilarating. 

        We slept in fancy, five star hotel room with room service. We ate whatever we wanted. We did just about anything we could dream of. 

        I couldn't wait for us to cross the border to Canada. There, we'd start our new life. I assumed we'd all be taking on new identities. 

        But that wasn't new to me. I'd done it before. 

        I couldn't help but burst out in happy laughter as we passed a herd of horses beyond a fence, a lone rider in the front leading them. I pressed my face to the window, my eyes wide. 

        Gabriela, feeling the same exhilaration as me, turned on the radio and we all sang along to the song. I looked at the map Fredrick had brought then at a passing road sign. I sighed happily.

        I smiled brightly before folding it up. "We're almost out of state," I said, leaning between the two front seats. "As soon as we go out of the next state, we're home free. We've crossed the boarder."

        Gabriela smiled as well. "Good," she said. "But if we're going to make it across the state boarder today, I'm going to have to refuel." We pulled into a gas station. "Nikki, you take the money in," Gabriela said, fishing through her purse. "Buy some quick food and drinks. I'll stay out here and fuel up the car."

        "Gotcha," I said, jumping out of the car and taking the money. 

        "I'm going to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Fredrick said. 

        I walked to the building and walked around, looking for stuff everyone would like. In the end, I got three bags of chips, a large pack of water, a few sodas, and some of the hamburgers on the stand before going to the cash register. 

        "These and enough to fill up the car on number three," I told the young man at the register. He raised a questioning eyebrow. "Road trip," I said simply.

        "This ain't enough to get everything, kid," he said, looking at me after I handed him the money. I took out the card from my pocket and swiped it. He shrugged and handed my the receipt and my bags.

        I walked out of the building and over to the car. I didn't see Fredrick anywhere, Gabriela was still filling up.

        "Hey, while we're still waiting for ol' Freddie, I'm going to go use the restroom as well," I told Gabriela.

        She nodded at me. "Sure," she said. "I'll be here."

        I headed off to the bathroom and did my business. When I flushed the toilet, it was so loud from echoing off the walls multiple times, I thought I was going to go deaf.

        I rubbed my ears as I walked back to the car. Gabriela was gone. I thought nothing of it and leaned against the door and waited for the others to come back, figuring that they'd be back momentarily and that Gabriela had gone into the store because I'd probably gotten something she didn't like and she wanted something else.

        But I really wanted them to hurry. The smell of gasoline was making me light headed, and the artificial light was irritating my eyes. It was much too bright for my tastes. Like hospital rooms. Why they weren't turned off in the day time, I had no idea. 

        Fredrick walked out of the bathroom and over to me. "Where's Gabriela?" he asked, leaning against the door as well. I shrugged. 

        "Inside, I think," I told him.

        We walked over to the vending machine things by the doors of the shop, waiting for Gabriela. I knelt down by one that had plastic rings on it. 

        "Hey, you got a quarter handy?" I asked. Fredrick fished around in his pocket and pulled out a single quarter. 

        "Awe, man," he groaned. "And I wanted one of those." His hand was on a case full of military and camouflage like stuff. 

        "Flip it," I said, standing. Fredrick shrugged and flipped the coin. "Heads!" I called as it flipped in the air. 

        Please, please, please...

        I crossed my fingers, not really sure why I was so desperate for it to land on heads for me. Fredrick caught it and slammed it onto his palm. He lifted his hand, showing tails. 

        He chuckled and I felt a sense of dread. I stared blankly at it, feeling my face go pale. 

        Fredrick smiled happily at me, oblivious to my current predicament. "Well, since it landed on tails, I get to do whatever I wanted with it," he teased. Then he slipped it into the slot for the rings, and turned the knob. 

        The coin clinked inside, and a ball clinked inside. Fredrick opened the slot and removed the clear and blue plastic ball. After a moment of having trouble opening it, he finally opened it to reveal a very beautiful ring. 

        I gasped when I saw it. I immediately took it out of the case and examined it closely. 

        "Fredrick!" I exclaimed. "Look!"

        "What?" he asked, taking the ring from me. 

        "It's the same ring we looked for as kids!" I exclaimed gleefully, all my earlier apprehension gone. Fredrick's face spread into a wide grin.

        "So it is," he said happily. He then took my hand and slipped the ring onto my finger, the same one Mom's ring used to rest on. He kissed my knuckles. "For you, my princess. May your dreams be forever fulfilled from this day onward."

        A warm feeling built up my in stomach, making it turn pleasantly. Just as I felt the urge to kiss Fredrick, and was about to do just such, we heard a bang. Then we froze. 

        Just then we heard "Get your hands off me!"

        "Wasn't that...?" Fredrick said. I nodded. It was definitely Gabriela. 

        We ran towards the sound to see a man holding Gabriela pressed against the brick wall of the side of the building, just out of sight of any cameras. He held her hands above her head with one hand, the other was creeping up her shirt. 

        "Let go of her!" Fredrick shouted, jumping at the man. He landed on the man's back and the surprised man stumbled away from Gabriela. Flushed and pale at the same time, Gabriela ran towards me.

        "Fredrick, come on!" I shouted. Gabriela grabbed my hand and we began running. but we wouldn't get very far. Three other men appeared, surrounding all of us.

        "The older bitch will get us some good money," one man snarled. "The boy might get us some goods too. Both got nice bodies, and the boy can be shaped up good. But the squirt won't get us anywhere." All three of us froze, ready to bolt should we see the chance. "Kill the small one."

        Fear rolled down my spine and I could sense Gabriela and Fredrick tensing on either of my sides.

        I clenched both of their hands tightly. _Not again, not again_. 

        "No!" Gabriela screamed, going to pull me close to her as one pulled out a gun. But one of the men grabbed her from behind and held a hand over her mouth.

         _Not again, not again. Don't- I can't- It's happening all over again-!_

        "Don't you dare touch her!" Fredrick shout. I turned sharply to see Fredrick fighting against the two men restraining him.

        I turned around slowly to see a gun pointed at my face. All sound was drowned out. The only thing I heard the the loud _shink!_ of the bullet leaving the gun.

        It all happened in slow motion. The gun shot, the bullet was headed straight for me, its aim true. I was going to die. I was frozen in fear. 

        But then, out of the corner of my eyes I saw Gabriela kick out the knees of the one who held her. He fell to the ground and the gun that had been in his hand and skidded near by feet. Then my vision was blocked by a waterfall of black.

         _Don't die for me-! Don't die for me again-! I can't lose my family again!_

        "Noooo!" I screamed. 

        _It can't be- It can't be happening again!_

        She didn't even scream when it hit her in the chest and she fell against me.

        My chest constricted as I watch Gabriela's pink shirt soak with the blood pooling from her heart. My blood turned cold and I fell to my knees by her. Tears spilled freely from my eyes.

        "It- It should have been me..." I said. "It should have been me..."

        Gabriela reached up one of her hands shakily and touched it to my cheek. "H-Hey now, don't say that," she whispered. "Don't you _ever_ say that, Nikki. You are beautiful, and have a good life ahead of you." She smiled shakily at me and I gripped her hand tightly as her breaths became increasingly ragged. I wanted to say that she'd be fine. That we'd get her to a hospital and saved. That she'd live. But I couldn't fool myself. "Y-You kn-know, I- I've always l-loved your hair. So- So pre-pretty and shiny. J-Just li-like a shi-shiny n-n-new c-co-copper... Penny."

        Tears fell from my eyes on her hand as it dropped limped from my own. I screamed in agony.

        "You liar!" I screamed to the sky. "We were supposed to be a family! Liar! Don't- Don't leave me alone again!" I couldn't stop the sobs from shaking my body. 

        I could hear the sneers faintly, but the only thing I could see was Gabriela's lifeless body in front of me. I pulled her close to me, her blood soaking my clothes. 

        My heart felt like it was being ripped out. Where was my happy ending?! Why?! Why was she taken away?! Why wasn't it me?! Why did everyone die for me?!

        "Oh, what a _touching_ moment," the leader sneered. I heard him cock his gun and whipped around. "But you're still gonna die, little bitch."

        I spotted the gun lying near my feet. I stretched out a shaking hand for it and hesitated. 

         _I- I can't. I can't. I can't take the gun... It'll happen all over again... Just like last time-_

        I took hold of the gun.

        A calm washed over me. My hands no longer shook. My mind was clear, with only one thought. _Kill_.

        I stood up, my hair falling into my face. "No," I said darkly, so low it was no more than mere growl. "I am not the one to die today." I held the gun out, pointing it at the man. "Go back to hell where you belong."

        And I shot the gun. Before it had even hit the man, I shot the two holding Fredrick. Then I whipped around to the last one.

        "What the f-" he began, but his words were cut off by the gun at his forehead. 

        "Hell is waiting for you, bastard," I sneered. Then I pulled the trigger. Blood splattered everywhere, on me, on the concrete. And he fell dead before he even hit the ground.

        I turned back to Fredrick. The only going through my head: _Kill. Kill. Kill._

Fredrick held up his hands, backing away slowly, fear evident in his eyes.

         _What's he scared of? Huh? Those bastards are dead. All I want now is to ki-_

        Then I dropped the gun. My whole body shook and a fear settled into my skin as I looked around at what I'd done. Only Fredrick stood, left mostly untouched. Small blood splatters were on his shirt and jeans, but he himself was unharmed. But his look of fear told me everything.

        I dropped to my knees once again, falling forward on my hands. 

        _He's- He's scared. He's scared of what I did. No. He's scared of me. Of me..._

        My body began shaking uncontrollably. But no tears came out. I couldn't cry, even though I needed to so much. Then warm arms wrapped around my freezing body. 

        "Aren't you scared of me?" I spat, not doing anything to shake him off. I needed him now. But I didn't want to hurt him, I could hurt him so easily- "Don't you hate me now?"

        He didn't say anything, only held me. And there, I shook in his arms. I didn't cry, I didn't make a sound. After the fear melted away, a numbness crept into my being as I stared at the motionless body of Gabriela. 

         _Freedom never lasts. I can never be free... Everything changes at the flip of a coin._

        With noon high sun came the police. When they arrived, they saw two broken children huddled against the brick wall. They ruled it up to we'd all been kidnapped, and tried to escape as to why we were so far away from where we were supposed to be.

        In the struggle of self defense, the men had been killed, but Gabriela had died as well while protecting us. The cashier, whom they found dead inside, was thought to have been killed while being robbed. 

        We were taken back to the homes, and no one questioned why our bags were in the trunk in Gabriela's car. 

        For two weeks, I didn't move from my bed. I hardly ate. I became little more than a wraith. I was trapped in my mind. Memories of before I became Nikki. My memories of that night. Memories of being a killer. A murderer. Of watching Gabriela die right before my eyes. 

        Of Fredrick staring at me in horror.

        I was sure he hated me now. I was certain of it. If I couldn't even stand myself, how could he?

        But two weeks later, a car pulled into the driveway. A sleek black one that had black tinted windows. Curious, and feeling something for the first time in two weeks, I moved from my place and silently crept down the stairs and to the front room.

        Miss Louis stood in the front room with a man with ashen, sandy hair in a black suit.

        "Miss Louis, I must ask. Do you have a girl named Penny Rogers here?" he questioned, taking off his sunglasses and clicking them shut. He stuck them in his breast pocket.

        Miss Louis formed an 'O' with her mouth. "Well, no, we don't, actually-" she began. Then she caught sight of me standing completely still in the doorway. "Oh, hello Nikki!" She beamed at me. "It's great to see you moving again!"

        My mind was running. What did he want? Who was he? Why was he here? Should I speak up or just leave again?

        I had to choke back a sob. If I didn't speak, or maybe even if I did, I'd be stuck here. Where I had to look at pictures of Gabriela, be reminded of her every day. 

        I wanted to forget! I wanted to be alone! No one would let me! Why?! Why can't I just forget the past?! Why can't I be freed of something that wasn't my fault?!

        _It- It was an accident-! I didn't mean to-!_

        "Me," I said softly, before I even realized what I was saying. 

        "What was that, dear?" Miss Louis asked, tilting her head. 

        I looked up from the floor steadily. "It's me you're looking for," I said. "My name is Penny Rogers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fredrick: Nikki, where are you going?  
> Penny: My name's not Nikki.  
> Fredrick: Since when?!  
> Penny: Fredrick, just stay out of this! It doesn't concern you!  
> Fredrick: But it does because second you are best best friend, but first I love you!  
> Penny: This ring- it's useless. Magic can't bring her back. It can't bring any of them back.  
> Fredrick: Yeah. Really need a magic ring now, huh?  
> Penny: Next time, in chapter three.


	3. Counting Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A choice is made. A bad one, but it's still made.

        Miss Louis couldn't believe it when I said I was Penny Roggers. After all, she'd only known me as Nichole McHarken. 

        The name Penny Rogers was like a curse word. Something that exists, but isn't meant to be used in civilized conversation. It was taboo, not to be discussed. Because of how I became an orphan. 

        The man was called Abraham Jones. 

        He explained to Miss Louis about this "school" called Acca. It took in children without homes or families but with brilliant and trained and shaped them up, getting them ready for high society jobs. When we finished with what he repeatedly called "training", we were immediately given jobs that suited us.

        We were basically adopted by the school, and not to return to the place they had been before. 

        Mr. Jones- "Abraham, please. I insist."- Miss Louis, and I all sat in the receiving room. None of the others were allowed in, and most had been sent away to prevent the from interfering with our conversation. 

        I sat in one of the stiff backed, old fashioned chairs Miss Louis was so fond of. I didn't look up at either of the adults as Mr. J- Abraham was explaining everything to Miss Louis. Instead I fiddled with my hands, occasionally pushing up my glasses and only faintly listening in on their conversation.

        I know I should have paid more attention, because whatever was decided would change my future. But I couldn't bring myself to.

         _If I get taken away from here, that's fine. But I have to stay, I guess that's fine too... I only have a few more years before I get kicked out of the system anyway..._

        I caught sight of the ring on my finger. My fingers were long and slim, skinnier than many of the other girls I knew. But the ring on my finger, the one Fredrick had slipped on it, what felt like so long ago, glittered proudly in the sunlight. It fit on my finger like it was meant to be there. Most of those silly little plastic rings wouldn't fit anyone by the time they were my age. Just another reminder of how weird I am...

        I clenched my hand tightly until my knuckles turned white, trying to control my emotions. I slapped my other hand over my fist to cover my ring. 

        I couldn't stand to look at it, but I also couldn't remove it.

        Then something Abraham said spiked my interest. 

        "Of course we'd take very good care of her," Abraham stated. "But on the down side, I'm afraid that Miss Rogers would not be able to contact her friends again."

        "What do you mean?" I asked, finally lifting my head to stare at the middle aged man. He smiled kindly at me. 

        "At ACCA, we have very strict rules," he said. "Any messages sent in or out are prohibited while you are a student. To make sure you are focusing on your studies, of course. And returning is something that is very unlikely until you've finished training. And while the jobs given to you are specified for you precisely, where you get them is quite random."

        My mind whirled. 

        I- I need not return? I didn't have to come back to this place? This- This beautiful but horrible place that held so much pain? Too many memories?

        I could just... run away from it?

        Mom and Dad... They always told me you couldn't run away from your problems. But I didn't have a choice. 

        I couldn't hold onto this much longer. I just- I wanted to forget. 

        "Mr. Jones- Abraham, I mean- I don't think I can just simply-" Miss Louis said.

        "I'll go," I said, my voice as quiet as ever. "I- I want to go." Miss Louis looked at me and took my hand. She gave me a sorrowful look.

        "Are you sure this is what you want, dear?" she asked. 

        I nodded. "Y-Yes," I told her. "Qu-Quite sure. This is a once in a lifetime chance." I can't handle the pain. "It's a chance for me to do good in the world." It's a chance for me to repent for my sins. "I may be leaving people behind-" Like Fredrick. I can't stand the look on his face. He hates me now, doesn't he? "But I'll make new friends. I'll be fine." I won't be fine. I won't make new friends. I can't. I don't want to hurt anyone else.

        Miss Louis sighed. "Well, my dear, it's your choice," she said finally. "I'll- I'll go get the papers."

        Miss Louis sniffled as she got up and exited the room, going to fetch the papers signing over custody to Abraham. We were silent, not a word was spoken between us.

        I'd made my decision, and it was a fairly good option. But doubts began to rise up within me. 

        What kind of school was Acca? What kind of "training" did they do? Why wasn't there any outside communication allowed? It may not have mattered to me, because I wouldn't have contacted anyone anyway, but what about the others?

        I discreetly looked over at Abraham. He studied one of the books on the end table by him. 

        Something felt off about him. I couldn't quite place it, but I got the feeling he hadn't told Miss Louis the whole truth.

        I pulled myself to my feet quickly and Abraham turned with my movement. I nodded slightly at him.

        "Excuse me," I said quietly then left the room. As soon as I was out, I dashed up the stair and ran right into Miss Louis. 

        "Goodness, child, what's gotten you so worked up?" she questioned, her eyes going wide. 

        "Miss Louis, please delay having him sign those papers for as long as you can," I begged. "I- I have to find something!"

        "Nik- Penny, wait!" Miss Louis called after me. But I'd already run into my room and slammed the door behind me. I prayed that Miss Louis listened to my wish. 

        I fished through my still packed suitcase and pulled out the chest and laptop. I first searched for any organization called "Acca", but only came up with rumors about a spy organization run by the government. Those theories had been disproved, apparently. 

        But I didn't stop there. I'd heard of Acca before, I was sure of it. I just needed proof. 

        Not finding anything on the internet, I searched the chest, doubtful I'd find anything in there. I looked through the documents closely. 

        Then I found a printed paper in the bottom of the chest. It was a letter, or something like it. It was from some message thing, but I couldn't tell from what. Addressed to someone, anyone it seemed, to help. All that it had was "England" written at top.

        _England  
        Please! You have to help me! ACCA found out about the necklace, and have since attacked me thrice! Please, send help. I don't know how long I can keep the information safe. I can't get H targeted, so I can't hand over the necklace yet. But if something doesn't happen soon, I'm going to end up like the others. Since you don't live in America, you don't understand the full extent of their power. They will kill anyone who gets in their way, and they have eyes everywhere. They may pretend to be a harmless school, but they're not. Their reach is everywhere. Be careful, A. Please. But you need to get me out of this.   
        Damn it! Someone's in the house. There's gunshots. A, tell the others. _**They have to keep vigilant** _. Eyes opened, even in sleep. I have to hide. If you don't hear from me directly within four days,_ **don't** _look for me. I'm either dead, or in hiding. And whatever you do,_ **don't** _go attacking ACCA alone. You'll die._  
                K. W. America

        I couldn't help but stare at the paper in awe. It wasn't "Acca", it was "ACCA". And it was dangerous. 

        ACCA hurt people. Good people. People who had nothing to do with- what ever was going on there. 

        I couldn't. I couldn't go with Abraham.

        The paper gripped tightly in my hand, I ran down the stairs and into the receiving room. 

        "Miss Louis, I changed my mind. I don't-" I began saying, but then Abraham lifted his hand from the paper in front of him.

        The custody papers. 

        I was too late. I didn't have a choice now. I had to go. I would be forced to. 

        But I couldn't. I didn't want to be like those people that hurt that girl. I couldn't be. Miss Louis and Abraham stared at me for a few moments and I took a step back. Then another, and another. 

        Then I ran back up the stairs and to my room. I slammed the door behind me and locked it. I began pacing as I heard hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. 

        I gripped the roots of my hair tightly. 

        I couldn't stay in here forever. I'd have to leave at some point. But going out would be going to ACCA. And I couldn't. I couldn't go to ACCA. 

        I tossed the paper back in the chest and shut it securely. Both the chest and the laptop went into my backpack. But then the laptop came out. 

        Electronics were too easy to track. 

        Then there was a pounding on the door. "Penny, please come out," Miss Louis said. "You'll be fine. Abraham is a fine man. He'll take good care of you at your new school."

        I jumped into action, going faster than before, but not answering Miss Louis.

        I didn't put much in the backpack besides the chest, I didn't have room. Only two more pairs of pants and another shirt. I pulled the straps over my shoulder and stood on the edge of the window. 

        I could see two more men in black standing by a black van. I'd have to avoid them. They were probably with Abraham-

        Just as those thoughts ran through my head, one looked up at me. 

        "She's going through the window!" he shouted. "Catch her!"

        I couldn't go down, they would catch me for sure. I climbed out onto the tree and began climbing up instead. I reached the roof of the house and pulled myself up. Being tilted made it harder to walk across, but I made it. There was a thin wooden board connecting the electric poles by this house and Fredrick's. I pulled myself up onto that as the first man pulled himself up onto the roof.

        I glanced behind me only for a moment before pulling myself onto the wooden stretch. I looked down and felt my knees shaking. I'd never been this high up off the ground before. 

        I took a deep breath before looking straight ahead and taking my first step. One more, and another. As soon as I was above Fredrick's house, I slid onto the roof. I looked behind me once again to see them both on the wooden board. 

        I went as quickly as I could to the tree near Fredrick's window. If it was open, I'd climb in. If not, I'd have to deal with it and climb the rest of the way down the tree and make a run for it. 

        Anything to not go to ACCA. 

        I shimmied down the tree and found Fredrick's window thankfully open. Fredrick himself sat on his bed, listening to music, when I jumped in. He only looked up when I slammed and locked the window behind me.

        "Nikki, what are you-"

        "My name's not Nikki!" I snapped, covering his mouth. "Shut up for a few moments!" I closed the curtains and held myself against the wall as I listened carefully. 

        The branches outside rustled and I saw the men climb the rest of the way down the tree through the tiny slit left open.

        Only after they were gone did Fredrick speak.

        "Nikki, tell me wha-" he began. I slammed my fist onto his head as his voice began to raise. 

        "I told you once already my name isn't Nikki," I hissed. "It wasn't in the first place. Nikki was just what everyone called me. They named me Nicole, but my true name is Penny Rogers."

        I listened intently for a moment when I swore I heard footsteps. Some boys walked past Fredrick's door and I slowly stood up, walking carefully as to not alert anyone to my presence with the creak of a floorboard. I locked the door before going back to Fredrick.

        He stared at me, wide eyed and shocked at my unusual behavior. 

        "Penny, then," he said in a whisper, trying out the name. "What's going on?"

        I gave him a look full of shame, regret, and fear. "Freddie, I made a horrible mistake," I said, tearing up. "A man came to Miss Louis today looking for me. He said he was going to take me away to some sort of school, that I'd never come back." Fredrick's eyes widened further at my words. "I- I agreed without thinking-"

        "Penny!" Fredrick exclaimed. I had to clamp my hand over his mouth again, making sure no one noticed. My heart beat picked up.

         _I could have sworn-_

        But then Fredrick ripped my hand away from his mouth.

        "Penny, what the _hell_ were you thinking?!" he snapped in a low voice. "You were going to leave, without telling me? Without me?"

        I looked at him in surprise. "You- You don't hate me?" I asked timidly. 

        Fredrick huffed and pulled me in close. "God, you may be the smartest person in the world, but you can be a bit slow," he said weakly. Then he pulled away, keeping a firm grip on my shoulders. "Penny, for god's sake, I'm in love with you! You're my girlfriend! I couldn't hate you even if you held a knife to my throat and threatened to murder me this minute. I'd probably take the knife and offer to slit my throat for you."

        I couldn't help but give a rather mild chuckle at his extremities. 

        "Thank you," I told him. I took a deep breath and looked down before falling forward a bit and letting my forehead rest on Fredrick's shoulder. "I messed up real bad, Freddie. I wasn't thinking when I'd agreed. But after the shock wore off, I remembered I'd heard of the so called school before. So I went and looked it up. I found nothing on the internet, but I did find something in my parents' chest. The school, ACCA- it's known for causing major problems. Deaths of many, those kinds of things."

        I looked up in fear at Fredrick. 

        "I'm scared, Fredrick," I revealed, my voice quivering. "Miss Louis already signed the custody papers, but I don't want to go anymore. I can't put a gun in my hand. You saw what happened last time."

        Fredrick blinked rapidly. "Wait, so that happens every time?" he asked. I nodded.

        "Y-Yeah," I said, turning my face away. "Ever- Ever since I was eight. Every time I- I touch a gun, I- I g-get th-this- this un-uncontrollable bl-bl-blood l-l-l-lust-st-st-" Fredrick placed his hands on my cheeks. 

        "Don't push yourself," he whispered as he touched our foreheads. "You don't have to tell me." I nodded shakily and wrapped my arms tightly around him. I just needed him right now.

        I was twelve. I shouldn't have been dealing with this. Any of this. Most of this was too much for grown people to handle, that much I knew. 

        How am I still sane? Am I?

        Fredrick pressed a soft kiss to my lips before getting to his feet and pulling me up to mine. "You've got to run, right?" he asked, grinning with that dimpled smile I adored so much. "You're going to need a partner to help you on that."

        My heart warmed and tightened. I could help but place my hand over it. "Thank you, Fredrick," I told him. I could help the tears springing to my eyes. 

        "Just let my pull a couple stuff together and we're good to go," Fredrick told me.

        I sat down on his bed while I waited. He tossed a couple of jeans and tee-shirts into his backpack and pulled on his shoes while looking around the room in search of his multiple stashes of money. 

        "Don't think Jeremy's going to mind too much if I take this, do you?" he teased as he held up a large glass jar full of green paper.

        "He's probably going to mind, and notice," I told him truthfully. 

        "Whatever, right?" Fredrick said with a shrug. He stuff the cash into his backpack and slung it over his shoulders. "Right, let's go."

        I walked over to the window and cautiously looked outside. Abraham and one of the men patrolled the street. "Look's like we're not going out the window," I said. Fredrick nodded and, taking my hand tightly, unlocked the door. We snuck down to the first floor and froze when we heard voices. 

        "Sir, I assure you I am the only female in this house," came the sharp voice of Fredrick's house mother. "I'd know if one of my boys had a girl over." I'd never heard her use that voice on an adult before, and she only used it when people were in deep dodo.

        Fredrick tugged on my hand and pulled me towards the back. We made it into the kitchen and climbed out of the window, Fredrick helping me down. There was somehow only the one door in the damn place though it had a million freaking windows.

        As soon as we were out of the house, we were running out of the backyard and down the alley. 

        "Think we'll actually make it this time?" I asked through ragged breaths. 

        Fredrick gave me a smile. "Don't think like that! We're going to make it: you're my good luck charm!" He laughed jovially. "And if that doesn't work, wish on that magic ring!"

        The hand of mine he clasped held my ring, and I stared at it.

         _Magic doesn't exist. It can't bring them back. But I survived death twice. With Fredrick by my side, I can go anywhere. I can do anything. **He** is **my** good luck charm._

        We ran off into the distance, leaving that town and everything else we'd known behind. We didn't know, or cared, at the time that it would be the last time we ever saw that place. I still had the chance to one day, but I didn't know that Fredrick never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penny: A heart is as fragile as glass.   
> Fredrick: And it only takes so much to break it.   
> Penny: How'd they find us?!  
> Fredrick: I'm not going to lose you again!  
> Penny: Fredrick! Help me!  
> Fredrick: What did you do to her?!  
> Penny: Next time, in chapter four.


	4. Black Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things never last for long.

         It wasn't like we could run forever. Eventually, something was going to happen.

        But, boy, did freedom taste nice while it lasted.

        I curled up next to Fredrick on the slide. It was dark out, and a chill bit the air. Fredrick put his arm around me and pulled me even closer, attempting to keep us both warm. He rubbed my shoulder and looked down at me.

        "You okay?" he asked. I looked up at him and smiled.

        "Perfect," I told him. "I'm gonna sound cheesy, but, because I'm with you." His face lit up in a large grin as I laid my head down on his chest. 

        It was warm, and I could hear his heart beating. I grinned into his shirt.

        "You can go to sleep if you're tired," Fredrick told me, running a hand through my hair. 

        "I'm fine," I mumbled. "What if we need to run quickly?"

        "I'll wake you up and we'll run," Fredrick stated. "But you'll be slow on your feet if you're tired." I nodded and tried to relax.

        "Okay," I whispered. "But only for a couple hours. You need to sleep too. Wake me up in a little bit, okay?"

        He ruffled my hair as he chuckled. "Yeah, alright," he told me. _Good night_ , Penny."

        "Night, Freddie..."

        I closed my eyes and fell into sleep.

        _"Penny," Daddy spoke quietly, in that deep voice of his. "Do it."_  
         _I shook my head. "I-I c-c-can't!" I said. "I can't pull the trigger!"_

        "D-Dad-!" I screamed, reaching out. 

        A flash of lightning. A crash of thunder.

        "No!"

        _"No!"_

        "Penny!" 

        I jolted awake at the sound of my name. Fredrick knelt over me, shaking me and looking worried. 

        "Penny, are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, sitting up and rubbing my head.

        "N-Nightmare," I muttered. "J-Just a nightmare. I- I haven't had it in a while..." I trailed off as I looked at Fredrick. "What's wrong, Freddie?"

        His eyes flickered behind me and he held me in place when I went to look. "We're currently being watched," he told me. "They've found us. We've got to run."

        I nodded. Fredrick gripped my hand and pulled me to my feet. 

        "One."

        "Two."

        "Three!"

        We took off running. It took a moment but then I heard the sound of footsteps pounding behind us. The only sounds in the quiet morning were of our footsteps and quick breaths.

        We rounded an alley. Fredrick pushed me in front of him and began knocking trashcans over while he ran. I jumped on top of a dumpster and pulled down a fire escape.

        "Fredrick!" I shouted. He looked over and nodded. I began climbing and he jumped up when I was halfway up.

        We ran up the stairs, going to the top. We were three flights up when the creek of the ladder resounded in the alley.

        "This isn't good," I said, paling and gulping when I leaned over the rail.

        "Must go faster, must go faster," Fredrick told me, taking my hand and running with me again. Seven floors... Nine floors... Eleventh floor.

        We made it onto the roof, with nowhere else to run.

        The fire escape still shuddered. 

        I looked at Fredrick in fear, and he smiled down at me confidently. 

        "It's not a long jump to the next building," he told me. "We can make it."

        My heart began beating rapidly. "F-Fredrick!" I exclaimed. "Y- You can't be serious!"

        The stairs clanged loudly and we both jumped, turning to look at it. "Unless you'd rather be caught."

        " _Very_ good point."

        "Running start then?" he asked. I nodded, doubt still heavy in my mind. "I'll go first. As soon as I land, start running. I'll catch you."

        He began to start off when I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. "Be careful," I demanded. He grinned at me.

        "Aren't I always?" he pulled me in by my waist and gently kissed me before letting go and running.

        He easily jumped the space between the buildings and landed safely on the other side. He turned and waved for me to come. I took off at a run. 

        I was halfway there when I was knocked to the ground.

        "Penny!"

        I struggled in the arms of the large man holding me down. "Let go of me!" I screamed, tears burning my eyes. 

        "Get off her!" Fredrick shout from the other roof. 

        I squeezed my eyes shut and kicked out with all my strength. I heard the _thunk_ of my foot connecting, and the grip on me loosened enough for me to run. I dashed for the edge, but was once again caught around my middle. I struggled and reached out desperately for Fredrick.

        "Fredrick!" I screamed, angry and frightened tears streaming down my face. "Fredrick! Help!"

        Fredrick was red in the face. Angry. He was angry. He ran from the other roof and jumped onto this one, kicking the man away from me as he did so.

        "Don't you touch her!" he shouted. "You bastards made her cry. Now you're going to pay."

        Fredrick rushed at the two men, but was easily overpowered. My arms were pulled behind my back, and no matter how hard we struggled neither could break free. The man holding me pulled out a phone from his jacket.

        "We've got the girl," he said, his voice impossibly deep. "Send it down."

        The loud roar of a helicopter lowered and I shook as I looked up. The high pressure and velocity of the wind made my hair flap wildly about my face.

        The man holding me looked over to the one handling Fredrick. "Get rid of him," he ordered as the helicopter landed in front of us. The man began dragging Fredrick over to the side of the building. 

        "No! No!" I screamed, my voice slightly lost in the wind. The man held Fredrick over the edge of the roof by his collar. "No, please! Please, don't! Please!" I turned to the man holding me as best I could, tears staining my cheek. "Please," I begged. "Don't- Don't hurt him. I'll- I'll come, quietly. Just- Just _please_ don't- don't hurt Freddie."

        The two men looked at each other before the one holding me nodded. Fredrick was dropped back onto the roof and I was let go. Fredrick stumbled to regain his balance, looking at me with a look of pity in his eyes. The man behind me pushed my shoulder blades and I stumbled forward, doing like I'd promised and quietly going into the helicopter.

        I sat down opposite the others inside and the helicopter began lifting off. I attempted to hold my tears back as I looked at Fredrick. His golden eyes were set, his ruby hair whipped from the wind.

        He began to run. Then he jumped. He grabbed hold of the floor but flailed as he struggled to pull himself up.

        "Fredrick!" I exclaimed, rushing to him and pulling him up. I pulled him inside, with appropriate amounts of difficulty, and held onto him tight. "Idiot," I whispered harshly. "What were you thinking?!"

        He hugged me tightly, and I could feel his grin pressed in my shoulder. "Did you really think I'd let them take you all alone?" came his muffled reply. He squeezed tighter. "I'm never leaving you alone."

        I squeezed my eyes tightly closed and allowed Fredrick's warmth to envelope me. Though I tried my darnedest to hold them back, a few tears slipped loose and splattered on Fredrick's shoulder.

        It didn't seem like long before we'd crossed state borders and began descending.

        Fredrick let out a strangled gasp. I shot him a concerned look. "Do you know where we are?" I whispered, not looking at him but tightening the grip on his hand.

        Fredrick squeezed back. "Yes," he said through his teeth. "We're in Washington. I used to live here when I was really little, way before I met you."

        " _Washington_?" I whispered.

        The helicopter began its decent into the roof of a building. We were literally landing _in_ it. My eyes flitted around, looking for openings.

        I gripped Fredrick's hand tightly and spoke through the side of my mouth.

        "Listen. We'll never make it out of the door outside. Our best hope is to go in deeper."

        "Are you insane?! They'll catch us!"

        I shook my head slightly. "No. We go in, and we blend in. Once the coast is clear, we make a break for it. It'll work. Trust me."

        Fredrick let out a shaky sigh and nodded. "I do," he whispered. 

        The helicopter landed. "You better."

        Never a very fast runner myself, but adrenaline does stuff to you. Once the helicopter had landed, we'd jumped out of it mad a break for the door leading deeper into the building. 

        It was shut tight, but with a few poundings, we made it through.

        Upon opening, I noticed two blondes. But quickly put them out of my mind as my arms were grabbed. I was sure they'd be bruised from all this manhandling.

        I kicked at them, struggling to get away. I almost got away as I managed to kick one's knees. But it was to no avail.

        "Get Emily here. _Now_."

        "Let go of me, you bastards!" Fredrick screamed, and I whipped my head around as he was dragged in. "Let go of me! Penny!" He reached out for me and I attempted to do the same.

        "Fredrick!"

        Suddenly, I was pulled into a headlock. The man holding me let go, but the new person had a firm grip on my neck.

        I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. I legitimately thought I was going to die. I clawed at the arm as we fell to the ground. I saw a girl holding a needle to Fredrick's neck.

        I let out a breath as my vision blurred. I reached out, wanting nothing more than to hold him.

      _Don't hurt- Don't hurt Freddie!_ was the last thought to run through my head before everything went black.

        When I awoke, everything was luminescent.

        "Oh, look who's awake finally."

        I looked over to see a tall, brown haired woman with thick glasses looking down at me with a blinding grin. I grimaced and looked away.

        "Whe-" I croaked on my words. I let out a cough, but my words still came out strained. "Where am I?"

        "The infirmary!" the woman said excitedly. "Every new student comes through here to get checked out! Of course, you'll have to stick around for a few days while we run results, but soon you'll be as good as new! And I'm going to guess you have a fairly bad headaches, yes?" The woman clicked her tongue as she moved over to a cabinet a few paces away. "I'm always telling Emily she needs to be more gentle with the newcomers! They don't handle it as well as the rest..."

        She came over to me and stuck a pill in my mouth, setting a cup to my lips to help me drink. 

        It was then I realized I was strapped down. 

        I clenched my eyes shut and allowed her to give me the water. It was better to not be in pain while tied up like an animal than to be in pain. 

        "Where's Fredrick?" I questioned, not looking at the woman. All sides around me were shielded by curtains and I couldn't see past them. 

        "Your little red haired friend?" the woman asked, and I could hear the slight squeak of a chair as she sat down. "He's in the next cubical over! He's still asleep, though. My, Indigo _must_ have used some strong sedatives!"

        I didn't answer, only closing my eyes and hoping beyond hope that this was all only a dream and I'd wake up by Fredrick back in the park.

        Foolish thinking, really.

        After a few long moments of tense silence, I turned my head towards the nurse. "Can you let me out?" She seemed about ready to argue and explain why _No, she could not!_ when I sighed heavily.  I turned away from her again.  "Figured. But I'm not gonna run away, you know. I'm already trapped here, so what's the use?"

        It was a few seconds later I felt the straps on my wrist fall away. I sat up and turned to the nurse. She smiled at me.

        "Having you lay down all day won't help you recover any faster anyway!" she chirped. I only scowled. 

        "How do you know I won't just run away and break my word?" I questioned. 

        She tapped her chin. "I'm a pretty good judge of character!" she finally explained. "And I can tell you're not the kind of person who would do something like that!" She sat back at her desk and flipped open a folder. "So, what's your name?"

        "Penny Roggers," I stated automatically. 

        "Oh, how beautiful!" she commented, hurriedly writing stuff down. "And so fitting!"

        "What's yours?"

        "My name tag has been right in front of you this entire time-"

        "Lady, I'm mostly blind. I haven't had glasses that worked properly since I was eight. I'm lucky when I can see what's right in front of my nose. You- are just a blob."

        "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I should introduce myself then! I'm Sarah. It's quite nice to meet you, Penny."

        "Wish I could say the same, but since I'd rather not be here, I really can't," I deadpanned.

        Sarah let out a laugh. "Well, we'll just have to remedy that, won't we?" she said, and I imagined she had a twinkle in her eyes. She came over to me and set a hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to shine a light in your eyes, so try not to blink."

        I held my eyes open as wide as I could and she shined a flashlight in them. After she pulled away, I blinked quickly. 

        "Um, can I have my glasses?" I asked.

        "Those old things? If you can't see through them, they're only going to ruin your eyesight more," Sarah pointed out. "You'll have to do without them for now. Don't worry, I'll get you some new ones soon. Your eyes seem to dilate correctly. I'll just have Tim give you an eye exam in a couple of hours, and we should be able to get you some contacts soon. Some extra glasses just in case."

        I nodded, though it felt weird without my glasses on.

        And I would be dealing with the same feeling for the next two weeks.

        Sometime later, roughly two weeks after I'd arrived, Sarah brought me a pair of glasses.

        "Contacts aren't ready yet," she explained, placing the glasses in my hands. "But these'll do for now!"

        I slipped the glasses on my face, everything suddenly becoming much clearer. Everything was sharp, almost enough to cut my hand on it seemed. I blinked slowly at Sarah, then at Fredrick who sat on the end of my bed. 

        "So I look weird?" I asked nervously. 

        "The weirdest," Fredrick said with a grin and I had to suppress the urge to throw something at him. Sarah smacked him for me, though lightly. 

        "Telling girls that isn't nice, Fredrick!" she exclaimed, her face glowing with amusement. Then she smiled at me, holding up a hand mirror for me to see. "Here, take a look for yourself."

        I held up the mirror and gawked. "Oh my god, I do look awful." I hesitantly reached up to touch my glasses while Fredrick howled with laughter. "Red? And why the bloody are they so large?"

        "Well, you have a very heavy prescription," Sarah explained. "Nothing smaller would hold the glass."

        "I have bug eyes."

        Sarah patted my cheek affectionately. The dry humor had rubbed off on her, it seemed. "Well, true..." she said and my mouth turned down in a frown. She chuckled. "But it's more of really expressive, beautiful eyes. Green is lovely, you know. And extremely rare."

        "But I still have bug eyes."

        Sarah laughed, pushing up her own glasses. Then she took two folded pieces of paper from the table at my side. "These are for you two," she explained. "You're finally leaving today!"

        I took the paper, seeing my new schedule.

        A knot formed in my stomach and I chewed on my bottom lip. This was the beginning of my new life... And I couldn't say how long it would last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fredrick: Dear God...  
> Penny: What's going on?!  
> Fredrick: Penny, get down!  
> Penny: Freddie, I don't like it here. It's dangerous.  
> Fredrick: Don't worry. We'll be okay. We'll be... okay.  
> Penny: Next time, chapter 5.  
> Fredrick: Check out the other side-
> 
> [Lionheart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333361/chapters/33078135)


	5. Bunny Hop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time at ACCA actually fully starts.

        Name: Penny Rogers.

        Age: twelve (12).

        Birthday: November 13, 1991.

        Roommate: Amy Gunderson. 

        Schedule: Day 1- Ice-Skating (C29), French (B24), Japanese (B15), Ballet (C06), German (B14). Day 2- Algebra 2 (A17), Advanced English (A02), Biology (A14), Weapon Technique (A26), Life Skills (A01).

        Fighting Technique: Close range. (Knives, hands, ect)

        I almost felt sick, looking over the paper Sarah had given me. Of course, I'd answered all of the questions to get the information on the thing, but I still wasn't particularly happy about my information being available to the public. 

        Amy was an older girl, but she wasn't bad I suppose. I didn't talk to her much. She smiled brightly at me but would go stony before she left the room. She didn't talk to me, and I regularly felt alone in the room. 

        "Come on," she said, already dressed and ready to go for the day. She'd offered to take me to my first class, which was I grateful for. 

        I jumped off my bed, dressed in the similar black uniform everyone wore. The only differentiation to our clothing was that she wore a tank top while I wore long sleeves, and the stripes on her were silver while mine were green. 

        Stepping into the ice rink was like stepping from the land of summer into the land of winter. Not pleasant, I should say. 

        Fredrick was already there, and tension eased off my shoulders at the sight of him. I immediately dashed over to him and wrapped him in a hug. Boy and girls weren't allowed to share rooms (for obvious reasons), but I'd just been so scared stiff without him. 

        He was my last connection to the outside world. To the one I'd come from. I couldn't lose him. 

        Fredrick chuckled, running a hand through my hair and kissing my temple. "You do okay?" he asked, his voice low. 

        I nodded, though I knew he'd know I was lying. "Yeah," I told him. He grinned and pulled me closer. 

        Some moments later, not too many though, someone came and found us skates in our sizes. Then it was time for warm ups on the ice. 

        It didn't go over well. 

        Fredrick seemed to be a natural. He had incredible balance, but I seemed to be just dragging him down. Literally. I fell every other time I got up, and was constantly hugging onto his arm. 

        "Rogers!" the woman in charge shouted. "You aren't ever going to learn if you don't try! Let go of him and get your ass out on the ice!"

        I shuddered at her harsh tone, looking up to Fredrick with wide eyes. He smiled encouragingly at me and I broke away. I fell. Again, and again, and again. 

        I couldn't get my balance. 

        I was practically crying (I'm actually surprised I wasn't) by the time we left. My feet were bleeding and I had to wrap them in ointment and bandages before going to my next class. Many others were the same, from the rough treatment their feet suffered as they practiced their hardest out on the ice. But they held their heads high through the entire thing.

        Fredrick rubbed my back and shoulder until we came to the hallway we had to part at. I was headed off to my French class, while he went off to his Latin. 

        "You'll be okay," he promised, grinning brightly. Then he was gone, leaving me in front of my classroom door. Alone. Again.

        The good thing about my language classes was that I'd always been good at picking up random tidbits of languages, and it was fairly easy to piece them together. Of course, I knew it wouldn't always be that easy. Within the class period, even, it started to get harder and hard to understand. 

        But ballet... That was the class I had the most doubts about. 

        Right away when I entered, there was a girl. Small, tiny even. Her blonde hair was tied into a bun, her small limbs moving with more grace than I had ever seen before. Her back was completely straight, save for when she bended low to touch her toes or backwards, almost completely in half. 

        Each step was completely in time with the music playing softly from the speakers. All the students gathered around the door, watching the girl in awe. Our teacher was on the other side of the room, also watching her. 

        The music stopped and the girl did a graceful collapse to the ground, not rising until the teacher clapped her hands. 

        The girl stood and went to stand by our instructor and I gulped. 

        "New students, all of you," she said. "I am Madame Garcia. Starting today, at the end of every class I shall eliminate one of you from the class. This is Coco, my prima ballerina and best student. She will be advising me on her own desire of elimination. Impress not only me, but her as well. Now, begin!"

        I gulped again as everyone rushed for the bar to begin the ballet warmups. 

        _I am sooo dead._

I failed. So. Many. Times. 

        Within the first week, it seemed like I wouldn't fit into _any_ of the sports classes. I hadn't been kicked out of the ballet class (yet), but I'd been removed from ice-skating after it was obvious I had _no_ balance. 

        I was sent to another one the next electives day. Failed that too. 

        Track- collapsed before I'd even finished the first run (Coco was in that, too, and was one of the fastest). Rugby- let's not even go there, please. Soccer- too many balls to the face. Karate- I was even blacker than a raisin. I was too short for basket ball, and I had terrible aim when it came to baseball- using the bat and tossing the ball. 

        I ended up curled up in a ball in the infirmary, trying to not itch at my yellow and green bruises. Sarah had coated the main ones with some ointment that was supposed to make them heal faster. Wasn't working fast enough for my tastes. 

        Sarah pulled back the curtain of the bed I was using, a juice box in hand. She grinned at me as she handed me the box. Slowly, I pulled the straw off the top and poked it into the little hole on the top. 

        I sipped at it as she looked over the papers on her clipboard and eyed her a bit warily. She was gnawing on her bottom lip, probably unconsciously. Finally, she placed the clipboard aside with a sigh. 

        "So it seems that you haven't been talking the vitamins you're supplied," she said, unamused. Well, I doubt she would be at any rate. She was a doctor. 

        I pouted a bit, furrowing my eyebrows. "They've got steroids in them," I stated. "I'm not going to take steroids. Also unidentifiable elements that I don't know _what_ they could do to my body. That's not a risk I'm willing to take."

        Sarah sighed once again. "We tested everything in the vitamins with the samples we got from you during your stay in here at the beginning. None of them are harmful to you or your body. They're completely safe."

        I gave her a skeptical look but said nothing. _I'm still not taking the vitamins. I trust this school very little as it is._

        Sensing my stubbornness, Sarah just shook her head and stood. "Very well, then," she said. "If you're feeling up to it, you may go." I finished up the juice and tossed the box into a trashcan on my way out. Before I made it to the door, Sarah called me back. "And Penny- take your vitamins. They're good for you."

        There was an underlying meaning to her words that I understood. 

        _Take them or die. Rule breaking is encouraged- except if you broke them you were dead._

        I unconsciously rubbed at my throat as I walked through the hallways. If I didn't do well in an athletics class, I was doomed to fail. Well, die, essentially. I'd seen it happen already. 

        The people who went up to the top and never came back down.

        Without thinking, I'd made my way to the ice rink. 

        My first choice. Mom and Dad had taken me skating a few times when I was young. I still remembered it. How we'd all head out on the ice together, and laugh loudly when we all landed on our butts.

        Mom was the best skater out of all three of us. She always looked so graceful, even though she wasn't honestly the best skater ever. She was still on the ground more often than not. 

        I rubbed my knuckles, right over Fredrick's ring. Where Mom's used to be. 

        It wasn't much. All I had left of them was the suitcase. And their memories. 

        I pushed open the door to the rink, finding it empty. 

        Well, it _was_ lunch time. There wouldn't be anyone there for another hour and a half. 

        This worked better for me, though. I went to the desk where I knew the skates were kept. If I could keep in the class, they'd get me my own pair so I wouldn't have to borrow any. But as I'd been kicked out after the first day...

        I pulled on the skates, making sure to tie them securely. Getting out on the ice was hell. My knuckles were white with how tight I gripped the railing. 

        I closed my eyes tightly. Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

        I pushed off the railing. 

        I almost laughed aloud, being able to stand on the ice at last. But then I fell. 

        Hard. 

        My knees clanked together, and I couldn't help but think I'd need to go back to the infirmary to get looked at. 

        _No. Not. Yet._

        I grimaced, gritting my teeth as I forced myself into the careful move of getting back to my feet. 

        _If I don't get back up when I fall, I'll never get anywhere._

        I fell, again and again and again. I didn't get anywhere by the time it was time for the next class, but I returned after they all were over. I was back on the ice, and I was going again. 

        I wouldn't stop. I couldn't. I didn't want this life, I didn't want the life I had before. But I didn't want to lose it either. I _wasn't_ going to die. I wasn't going to make Fredrick go through it alone, because I knew he was doing the same for me. 

        By the end of the night, I was able to stand and slightly move, even if it was a bit wobbly. 

        I was exhausted by the time I stumbled into bed. My muscles ached and were sore and I wasn't sure how functional I'd be the next day. I was so grateful when my head hit the pillow and I went right to sleep. 

        I wasn't so grateful the next day. 

        "Penny Rogers," my teacher called out, looking up from the note he'd received. I raised my hand hesitantly and he beckoned me forward, handing me the note. "Can you find your way?"

        I looked down at the note, reading the instructions on it. '8:00, Red Team, Jungle Room'. 

        I nodded. I knew where the jungle room was. The teacher gave me leave and I headed for the door. 

        And heard the jeering mutters of my classmates at my back. I clenched the strap of my bag tightly. I knew I wasn't strong, and they did too. I'd just have to prove to them I wasn't _weak_ either. 

        I stuffed the paper into my pocket and found my way to the jungle room, only a few other kids already waiting. When Fredrick and the girl called Coco came in, Fredrick immediately came over to me with a confused expression. 

        "What's going on?" he mouthed. 

        I shrugged. The track coach was talking, and probably some good information. 

         "Well, let me explain the rules for the new kids, since this is going to be your first Capture the Flag," Coach explained, her eyes hard.  Much like Fredrick's.

        I glanced over to him. I'd noticed it for a while, but his golden eyes had lost some of their glamour. They weren't as gold, instead almost brown. 

        "Each of you have been split into red and blue teams. When I tell you, you will go change into the suit of of your color." She gestured over to the rack of black suits, each with either blue or red stripes down the arms and legs. "You will have five minutes to change. Once the bell goes off, the game begins. You will have two hours. You must make it into enemy territory and capture their flag, hidden on one person, and make it back to your own base. The first team to do so wins. Anything goes, but no killing."

        I jumped when Coach blew her whistle, shouting "Get to it, troops!"

        Fredrick and I headed for the racks filled with the suits for the Red Team. They were a lot like the ones we were already wearing, except with pure red stripes instead of the various colors the rest of us wore. And they were all indistinguishable from each other. No change for the girls or boys, then.

        I grabbed a suit silently and headed for the changing room, my mind preoccupied by thoughts of Fredrick. 

        I stepped behind a curtain and pulled off my suit. I heard Fredrick do the same in the stall by mine. 

        "Freddie, have you been taking the vitamins they give you?" I asked. 

        "Well, yeah," he said. "I mean, we're supposed to, right? And they help keep us healthy, too. We didn't exactly get them at the home, you know. Not enough money.

        I pulled the curtain separating our stalls out of the way, after making sure my suit was all the way zipped up. 

        "I want you to stop taking them," I demanded. 

        Fredrick down-right squeaked, covering up his still bare chest as he did so. "God, Nikki!" he exclaimed. 

        I gave him a look. " _Penny_ , Fredrick, _Penny_ ," I reminded him. "Just, trust me? Please?"

        Fredrick sighed, pulling up the top of the suit that had been hanging around his waist. He zipped it up all the way to his chin. 

        "Alright, I will," he said. "I trust you. I always have, _Nikki_."

        I groaned as he picked up the red scarf on the ground and dashed out of the stall, me in hot pursuit. 

        "What exactly is this?" Fredrick asked one of our team members casually, me hanging off of him and trying (in vain) to give him a nuggie. It wasn't my fault he was taller than me!

        "Oh, it looks like you're the target," the older boy explained. "Hide that on you somewhere. And stay away from blue team members. Let everyone else try to get the blue flag."

        The rest of the team exited the changing rooms and Coach left, the door locking behind her. A buzz initiating the beginning of the game went off and everyone started for the trees. 

        "Remember," the boy told Fredrick. "Stay away from the blue. Might be a little hard with your hair, but nonetheless, try your best."

        And then he was gone. 

        Fredrick and I looked at each other, nodded, and headed for the trees. 

        Of all the things I was bad at, scaling things wasn't one of them. From a young age, sneaking out of the homes had been a necessity. Hence my stellar ability to scale the tree with ease. I patted my pants as soon as I was on a branch, then pulled myself to my feet. 

        Fredrick was close behind. 

        "I have an idea," I told him. "Follow me."

        I walked down to the edge of the branch, thinking back to having to walk across the roof when we tried running from Abraham's men. When the branch got too narrow to walk on, I grabbed onto the one above us and held onto like monkey-bars to get to another one.

        I pulled myself up and held my back to the trunk as I listened to the foliage around me.

        Two people in front. I pressed even further into the tree as a girl with black hair zoomed past our hiding spot, going too fast to notice where we were. 

        A fight to the right, and I cringed as I heard a pained shout. 

        Another behind us, and angry shouting. A large crack resounded, and it only led me to believe it had taken place in the tree but was over when the loser fell out of them. 

        One person was below, but moved on quickly. 

        A couple, that looked to be on the red team, we to the left. They sent us a nod before jumping off into the trees. 

        And there was someone right above. 

        Fredrick pulled me out of the way as the boy from before jumped down onto a tree someone with blonde hair had been on. I hadn't gotten a good look at the person's face before they'd been pushed out of the tree. The boy glared at us. 

        "I thought I told you to stay away from the blues," he hissed. "You're going to get caught."

        "But look," I said, getting down and pointing to the blonde hair below. It was visible for only a moment before it was hidden in a bush again. "I'm going to bet she's the one with the blue flag. Erm, Sam I think her name was? An-Anyway, she ran past us a moment ago. She was chasing someone off, but before that was only focused on her. I- I think she might have the flag, so that's why she's being to careful to hide."

        The boy gave me a look. 

        "Find somewhere to lay low," he ordered. "We don't want our flag getting captured before we get back to base with this one."

        I nodded quickly and Fredrick and I took off as the boy jumped down and began his battle with Coco, who'd revealed herself by tossing a knife at the boy as soon as he'd gone into the clearing. 

        A scream was heard a little ways off, prompting Fredrick to pull me close and bury my face in his chest. My heart felt like it was trying to push out of my chest in the worst way possible.

        "Dear God..." Fredrick whimpered.

        A shot ran out. Then another. I screamed as something hit my arm. 

        I looked down and saw a tranquilizer. Grunting, I pulled it out with a little screech. "What's going on?!" I demanded, knowing I wouldn't receive an answer.

        "Penny, get down!" Fredrick shouted as he pulled me lower. But the momentum had us tumbling from the tree. 

        My vision was getting blurry as it was. The tumbling sensation was just making me sick. Fredrick managed to grab onto a branch so we didn't fall all the way, but there was no way to pull us up. 

        I was clinging to him for dear life, and even then I could feel my grip loosening. 

        "Freddie, I don't like it here," I mumbled. "It's dangerous."

        Through my blurry eyes, I could see Fredrick look down at me and back up at our attacker. "Don't worry. We'll be okay. We'll be... okay."

        I nodded, trying, and failing, to tighten my grip on him. Fredrick shouted out as the attack (just a big blur to me) landed on the branch Fredrick had grabbed. And stepped on Fredrick's fingers. 

        The momentum had made me loosen my grip enough that I couldn't hold on anymore. 

        "Penny, Penny, no, no, no!" Fredrick shouting, grappling with trying to grab onto me so I didn't fall. But I just... let go. 

        I fell on soft dirt, possibly less than five feet from where we'd been. Maybe more. But my whole body hurt. I heard footsteps land near by and watched as unrecognizable shoes made their way over. 

        I struggled to my feet, stumbling to get away. I didn't have the flag. Why were they after me? Surely they wouldn't- it was against the rules-

        _Rule breaking was encouraged._

        I was thrown to the ground and rolled. The attacker was patting me down, and I no longer had the strength to stop them. But then they were thrown off of me. Fredrick stood over them, looking furious. 

        "Keep your hands off my girl," he said darkly. 

        "Freddie... get the flag... out of here..." I murmured, unsure if he heard. Apparently he did. It got both of their attentions. Fredrick looked about to argue, but I only grinned weakly, closing my eyes. "It's only a simulator..."

        I wasn't awake for the rest of the game, the tranquilizer finally kicking in.

        When I woke up, I was back in the infirmary.

        Various others who'd been tranquilized were also waking up. With great difficulty, I managed to pull myself into a sitting position. 

        "Welcome back to the land of the living." I turned to the voice who had spoken, a girl holding out a bottle of some kind of liquid. "It'll help rejuvenate you."

        I took the bottle and took a sip as I looked around the room. The girl walked away without a second glance in my direction. There was a few other students helping Sarah out, what without the sheer amount of kids in the infirmary from the games. Some waking up as I had, some being bandaged up. 

        I searched for Fredrick's noticeably red hair, finding it on a bed across the room.

        I struggled to my feet on shaking legs. There was so many moving bodies, I bumped into someone every other step. 

        "Fre-Fredrick!" I exclaimed, pushing the last bit of crowd and stumbling over to his bed. 

        Fredrick turned, only one gold eye visible from beneath the bandages wrapped around his head. His face split into a grin as I bounded forward, jumping into his arm and hugging him tightly. 

        I squeaked and jumped back, going bright red. "Oh, you're injured!" I exclaimed, placing a hand on his cheek. "What- What _happened_ , Fredrick?"

        Fredrick grinned sheepishly, going to rub the back of his neck before wincing and bring his arm back down. He rubbed his shoulder instead. "Just ended up getting a couple rocks and some dirt in my eye during the scuffle for the red flag," he admitted, making me shriek. 

        "It didn't _cut_ your eye, did it?!" I exclaimed.

        He chuckled, brushing hair out of my face. I pouted as he spoke. "I'm _fine_ ," he iterated. "They even told me it'll be good to come off by tomorrow. So don't worry about me, okay?"

        I sighed, leaning back and slumping. Fredrick chuckled and pulled me to his chest. I didn't resist.

        "I wanna go home," I mumbled into his chest. "I don't like it here. It's too dangerous. But I don't know where home is anymore."

        Fredrick stroked my hair and rubbed my back comfortingly. "Right here," he whispered. "Right here. Me and you. That's home. Wherever you are is my home."

        I wrapped my arms around Fredrick tightly. "Me too, Freddie," I sobbed quietly. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coco: Well, it seems you've gotten better.  
> Penny: Th-Thanks?  
> Fredrick: You okay?  
> Penny: Y-Yeah... I- I've just never done a rescue mission before!  
> Fredrick: We'll pull through. Let's go!  
> Penny: Next time, Chapter 6!


	6. The Mirror's Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missions are tricky business, even when they're only mock.

        It was two months later before anything interesting happened again. 

        And, coincidentally, involved Coco as well. 

        Fredrick and I were called to Abraham's office in the early hours of the morning, only to find we weren't the only ones. There was also Emily (the sight of her causing me to unconsciously shuffle behind Fredrick) and several others I didn't know the names of. A tall boy with messy brown hair and rumpled clothes; a dark haired girl with slitted, fierce, cat-like blue eyes; two girls that stood so close together I wondered if they were not the same person, or at least shared the same body.

        Abraham smiled a grim smile. "Today you shall be participating in a test," he said. "Your mission; rescue one of the two girls that were removed from the establishment in the night. The other one- will die."

        "Who are the ones who were abducted?" the brown haired boy questioned.

        Abraham pressed a button on his desk and a screen behind him lit up. On the left was a picture of Coco, though she had bandages covering a good portion of her head. The other had a red-haired girl I didn't know the name of.

        "Alise!" the boy shrieked, his eyes going wide. He clenched his fists until his knuckles went white. The girl with cat eyes had gone much paler than she'd already been, and I could have mistaken her for dead if her fingers didn't twitch at her sides.

        Abraham seemed amused at the reactions of those around the room. "You have an hour to decide before the trial begins," he said as he stood. "I'll see you all out by the airship, unless you've decided to forfeit both of them."

        And then he was gone. I gripped the back of Fredrick's shirt as I looked around the room. No one said a word. The black haired girl gritted her teeth and clenched her fists before taking a step forward.

        "We're saving Coco," she said. 

        "It _has_ to be Alise," the boy argued. 

        "Coco's been here the longest out of any of us, she's the most talented," the darker girl stated.

        "And therefore can get out on her own if need be," the one with chestnut colored hair claimed.

        "Alise is _injured_ ," the boy agreed. "She doesn't know how to fight even if she wasn't."

        "Which makes her a liability. She's no use to ACCA-"

        "She's a _person_ -"

        "So is Coco-!"

        Fredrick and I watched on in silence as the room dissolved into chaos, half going for rescuing this "Alise", the other for rescuing Coco. I clenched my fists into the back of Fredrick's shirt even tighter as I watched chaos unfold. Fredrick reached back and placed a hand on my shoulder.

_A person._

_A person._

_A person._

_Who lives?_

_Who dies?_

_Who gets to live; who has to die?_

_Whose choice is this? Whose? We are not gods. Why do we decide? How is it our place?_

_A person._

_A choice. A gun in my hand, pointing at their faces._

_A person._

_"Make the choice," he hissed. "You... or them?"_

_They're people._

_No, no, it's not my choice! This shouldn't be happening! I can't chose that!_

_"No!"_

_"Don't you dare touch her!"_

_"I- I've always l-loved your hair. So- So pre-pretty and shiny. J-Just li-like a shi-shiny n-n-new c-co-copper... Penny."_

        "Gabriela." My voice was so quiet, I was barely even sure I'd spoken aloud. But it'd caught Fredrick's attention. He turned towards me.

        "Hmm?" He placed a worried hand on my cheek as my arms fell to my sides. I stared blankly, my eyes unfocused. "What was that?"

        I took in a deep, shuddering breath. I gripped the fabric above my heart and closed my eyes tightly for a moment. "I know what we're going to do," I claimed. I opened my eyes and gave Fredrick my best smile, though it came out weak and fragile. I placed a hand on his arm before stepping past him.

        I cleared my throat. Everyone continued arguing. I fisted my hands, rubbing a thumb over the ring. Then I opened my mouth. 

        "Excuse me!" I exclaimed. The shout had everyone turning towards me and me paling. _Oh, God, why did I ever think this was a good idea? These people are terrifying._  I cleared my throat once again. "Oh- Okay. Well- Well, erm, you- you see, it's, ah, erm, Coco- Coco is strong. She's well- well train- well _trained_. She- She's talented, a- able, she- she's not- she's not weak. She- She can fight. We- all know- know what she's cap- cap- _capable_ of. At- At least I'm sure mos- most of you do- do. What- What I'm saying is that she can take care of herself-"

        "Which means we should be going after Alise!" the boy shouted. Fredrick gave him a look, coming over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. 

        "She wasn't done," he snapped. "Keep your useless need to argue and shout to yourself _until she is done_. Penny is the smartest one of us here, and I dare any one of you to fight me on this."

        No one made a move, no one made a sound. Fredrick gave me a gentle look and a nod to continue. I took in a deep breath before doing just that. 

        "But the- the fact is- the fact is that we _don't_ know what Alise is capable of," I began. "She could- She could be sma-smart, or strong, or- or- or- or _resourceful_. But we- But we don't _know_ , and- and because of that, we can't count out- can't count out her use. She- She's _untrained_ , yes. But- But she could be the best agent ACCA has to offer if- if she was. That's why- That's why I- why I..."

        I looked at everyone surrounding me, my resolve slowly crumbling. _The plan's going to be a flop. They're going to hate it and go back to arguing and we won't be able to save Alise or Coco and it'll be all my fault that they die and oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god-_

        I closed my eyes so I didn't have to look at them any more. 

        "My... plan is to go onto the ship that's taken Coco and Alise," I resolved. "Whoever it is we find first, that is who we save. For all we know, Coco or Alise or both could escape on their own. This is as much a test and trail for them as it is for us."

        It was another moment before I opened my eyes again. Fredrick was smiling brightly at me while the others conversed. 

        "Well, it's the best shot we've got," the darker skinned girl claimed. 

        "I have faith in Coco," the one with cat eyes stated. "She can escape."

        The boy chuckled, rubbing the back of his head and then running it down his cheek. "Alise is good," he admitted. "This isn't the first time she's been abducted. She knows a few tricks."

        "It's settled, then?" Emily questioned, standing from her spot on Abraham's desk. She hadn't participated in the argument, as if she couldn't be bothered by any of it. 

        I was actually surprised she hadn't left with Abraham. Last I knew, Emily only did solo missions...

        "It's settled," Fredrick agreed, taking my hand and squeezing it. 

        "Let's go find Abraham, then," said Emily as she headed to the door. She hesitated for just a moment and gave me a nod before exiting behind me. 

        The boy began to follow her. "Mickey Louster," he said, stopping in front of me and holding out his hand. I hesitantly took it. He had a... firm grip, to say the least. I could feel the callouses on his palm. 

        "Pen-" I cleared my throat meekly when it came out as a mostly terrified squeak. "Penny Roggers."

        "Fredrick O'Hare," Fredrick said in introduction. The two shook hands, but Mickey was soon shooed away by the appearance of the two who'd been- _had they been holding hands the entire time_?! Mickey chuckled as he exited the room, leaving Fredrick and I in the clutches of the two girls.

        "I'm Lizz," the one with dark, almond like skin said, her grin almost splitting her face in two. "And this is Becca. We just wanted to say that you are _super_ cute-"

        "You plan's a good one," Becca interrupted. "And you stopped everyone from fighting. Good job."

        "Uh-um, th-thanks-?" But Becca had already pulled Lizz away. 

        The last one in the room was the girl with the cat like eyes. She was... tall. Taller than me, and probably taller than Emily, too. Emily was _really_ tall. She didn't blink, but instead just... stared at me and Fredrick. Emily was lethal, but this girl... I couldn't quite place the dangerous I was getting off of her.

        She looked past us and headed for the door, only stopping by me for a moment, as if like a breeze, with her hand on my shoulder. "Sam," she said, then was gone. As if she'd never been there at all.

        "We'd... better go," Fredrick told me. I nodded and allowed him to pull be after him.

        We found Abraham just a few feet down the hall, seemingly having come to collect us. He smirked, something highly unsettling, and led us to the hanger. 

        The air ship was one of those big, balloon like ones I didn't know the name of. I was directed to a large computer, the screen- which was split into twelve smaller ones- taking up the entire wall and the controls taking over at least a three foot expanse. A few feet behind me were a couple of older teenagers, looking about eighteen or nineteen, at the controls to fly the ship. 

        "You'll be operating the controls on the mission, Miss Roggers," Abraham said as he headed to a room off the one we were in. "You know the consequences if you fail."

        The words were taunting, even if how they were said was not. I took a tight hold on one of the handles as the others gathered at my back and around me in a semi-circle. 

        "Get us in the air," Emily commanded. Through one of the screens, I watched as the ceiling opened above us and the air ship lifted off. 

        I clicked a few buttons and turned some of the knobs, rotating the cameras outside and inside the ship. 

        One of the screens locked onto a target and I enlarged it. It was another ship, similar to our own. I big my lip, tapping another couple buttons. 

        "That's our ship," Fredrick said, leaning over my shoulder. 

        "We'll need to board it," Lizz noted. 

        "The question is _how_ ," Becca stated. 

        "There's some packs in the next room," I murmured quietly, going back and getting as much of a view on the ship as I could. "Two go on the ship while we get closer. The rest can drop in. If you can get to any device hooked into a wall, I can make it malfunction enough no one can tell you're aboard."

        "Let's do it," Mickey said, standing straight and folding his arms. 

        Sam turned to our pilots. "Get us closer," she ordered.

        Emily headed towards the door. "Micheal, with me," she demanded. "I'm trained, he's heavy enough. We get in to get them out." Mickey glowered but followed her without a word. 

        Everyone waited in tense silence once the door had slammed shut. I turned the monitor back to the twelve screens and watched as Mickey and Emily jumped from our ship and onto the other one. The wind practically blew them off, but Emily confidently led the way to an opening and they jumped in an out of sight. 

        I tapped my chin and bit my fingernails in anticipation. Fredrick placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. 

        "We're in." Emily's voice reverberated through the room, making me shake in my seat. "Micheal's gotten a chip into a security camera."

        "Alright, let's do this," I muttered. 

        I quickly typed out a code and had soon taken over much of the ship. I let the feed replay the few minutes of footage the cameras had taken before Emily and Mickey appeared continuously while I watched them through the the cameras. An airlock opened on the other ship and I nodded to Fredrick. 

        He nodded back before turning to the rest of them.

        "Let's go," he said.

        They disappeared, only to reappear a few minutes later on the screen. I switched the view so I could once again watch the inside of the other ship. Everything was going smoothly, at least for the first few moments. Then things began to get... scrambled. 

        "What's going on?!" one of the pilots shrieked. 

        I madly worked to fix the blinking screens. Some were fuzzed out, some blinked rapidly. One of them had completely blacked out. Another couple's images had scrambled so much, you couldn't tell what they were anymore. I let out a cry as a loud feedback like sound gave out through the speakers I still hadn't placed where in the room they were.

        "Get away from the devices!" the other pilot shouted. "Get back!"

        Too stiff to move, I was pulled away from the computers by one of the pilots. My arms still covered my head and they ended up wrapping me in theirs. 

        And then everything just... stopped. 

        The sound. The blinking. All the screens went black. I swear everyone even stopped breathing. 

        Then there was a laugh. A giggle, really. The screens lit up, revealing a figure. The majority of her honey golden face was concealed- and a she she surely was- but from the tip of her nose down to a desk was visible. Long, silky black hair perfectly placed over slim shoulders and plush lips curved into a smile. Long, light pink painted nails hung down from her hand which were folded under her chin. A floral blouse with frilly ends on the puffy sleeves could also be seen. 

        "My my my," she said, voice sweet as sugar. "You're just so _smart_ , aren't you?" She giggled again. "Unfortunately, that means you can't be included in this little game." Her nails clinked against each other. "So I suppose you aren't going to be terribly useful for this mock mission. Can't have you corrupting the database." She giggled again. "I'll see you again, Penny Roggers."

        The screens cut out again and I shakily climbed to my feet. I went over to the control. I fiddled with the knobs uselessly, knowing that they wouldn't do anything. 

        "They've never sent a team in blind before," one of the pilots muttered. 

        "What do we do?" the other questioned.

        "We- We do-" I took in a deep, shaky breath. "We do noth- nothing. We do nothing, nothing at all. The plan is- is not wholly sound but- but they'll get- they'll get back." I cracked a broken look at the black screens, unknowing or uncaring, or perhaps both, if they couldn't see me. "And I- I reckon, they'll come back with- with both."

        The wait seemed like an eternity; agonizingly long.

        The first to return were Lizz and Becca, Sam came next, followed by Emily and Mickey, and finally Fredrick. The screens booted up again was Coco and Alise jumped out of the other ship. Abraham's voice rang out outside, but my ears were ringing too much to understand him. The top of our airship was opened and I was ushered into Abraham's office like little room by someone I honestly couldn't name.

        A few moments later, Coco joined us. By that time, my thoughts had calmed down and I could hear again.

        Abraham folded his hand and sat up straight, looking each of us in the eye. "You each have exemplary talents," he began. "You've each proven yourselves able to work through every situation that arose. Emily Meyers."

        Emily nodded to Abraham.

        "Michel Louster."

        "Still prefer Mickey." Mickey turned away, glaring at the door. I tilted my head a bit in his direction, ready to say _something_ , but the words were ripped from my mouth by Abraham.

        "Penny Roggers."

        "Y-Yes!" I whipped around towards Abraham, fearing that the fear was apparent in my voice. _Oh no. Does he know about the girl? Does he know that I couldn't do my job? Was he the one who sent the girl in the first place?!_

        "Fredrick O'Hare."

        "Sir!" His face was set like steel, not giving off any emotion. Like a proper soldier. _Oh god. That's basically what we are now, aren't we?_

        "Rebecca Johnson. Lissana Mathews."

        The two girls, their arms intertwined, nodded to Abraham. But as soon as his eyes turned away, they leaned closer together and giggled in each other's ears. 

        "Sam, Chloe Keeton." I looked over to see Coco and Sam's eyes locked as if in an intense staring contest. I quickly looked away, fearing I might interrupt something personal, and back to Abraham. "You eight are now part of an elite team, specializing in retrieving information, people, and objects."

        A heavy silence stretched long between all of us. Abraham's features stretched into a grin, something hard and cruel and wicked. I could almost see the pointed shark teeth, though I knew it to only be imagination.

        "Welcome to The Hostesses," he finally said.

        The others broke out in murmurs, I could hear Mickey complain about something so girly sounding. But everything was distant and fading and echoing. 

        _A team? We're a team? We'll be doing real, actual missions? Together?_

        _All of us? But- But I can't- Emily's terrifying. Coco's powerful and- she's scary too. I don't know any of the others! What if what happened today happens again?! I can't handle that! And the girl- who was the girl?!_

        I inhaled a sharp breath. She said she'd see me again. 

        I looked up and into Fredrick's eyes, my lips quivering and my hands shaking at my sides. 

        _Who was the girl?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizz: Don't you just love time skips?  
> Becca: Not really.  
> Fredrick: Wait, people can leave?!  
> Emily: It's called going AWOL. It's not allowed.  
> Sam: Stay safe. Don't leave the van.  
> Penny: Why would I-  
> Sam: Don't leave the van.  
> Mickey: While this is great and all, we've got a problem-  
> Penny: Fredrick! No! Somebody, help him!  
> Coco: Next time, Chapter 7. I feel like this has already happened before-  
> Sam: Stick to your own book.


	7. Fields of Clover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drastic things happen, and yet once more, Penny is forced to suffer and think about the phrase "good luck charm".

        When I woke up, it was to a loud blaring noise. I blurrily blinked my eyes open to see Amy tapping away on the screen installed by her bed, her costume only half zipped up. 

        "-deserters. Do not hesitate. Kill on sight." I sat up and looked at the screen. I barely recognized any of them. The boy from the closet. And one of them might have been Coco's roommate. But I couldn't be sure. 

        Amy turned when she heard my blankets rustle. "i'm going out on a mission," she stated, zipping her top up the rest of the way. "You'll be alright on your own?"

        "I won't be on my own; I have Fredrick."

        Amy gave me a wry smile. "Right. Keep that one close. It's a shame you've got nothing to say for the others on your team, though."

        I pushed messy hair out of my face. "Don't you have a team too?"

        Amy looked at me merely a moment before wrapping her hands tightly. "No. I go solo. I work better that way. Less liabilities." She grinned a bit, rolling her eyes. "It's still about an hour before classes start. Go back to sleep already, kid."

        Without complaint, I laid back down, curling one of my pillows to my chest. "Good luck," I murmured. 

        Amy placed a hand on my head as I drifted off. "Where I'm going, kid, I'm gonna need it."

        I returned to my slumber and didn't quite think twice about Amy again, not for the next several days. It wasn't as if my life was quiet, not with all the training and classes, but even still each night I returned to my dorm to only emptiness. Amy had a presence. Physical, there. Human. Something to stave off the loneliness even if we weren't close and rarely spoke.

        Several weeks passed. More and more groups were sent out. Bigger and bigger. Each more powerful than the last. 

        Until the Cards. 

        The last group to go out. Only half of the team came back. 

        Later that night, the screen above Amy's bed lit up with a message that would be displayed on all screens. A few moments on each slide, starting on the last to go. A picture, small description, and then the name of one of the ones who'd gone AWOL or the word  _undetermined_. 

        All the dead. Those who'd gone after the agents who'd gone AWOL and had been killed for their efforts. 

        Amy was among them. With the glowing  _undetermined_ holding onto my sight and not letting go. It could have been any of them. Any number of the ones who'd gone. They didn't know who it was, and she didn't stand a chance, because she'd gone alone.

         _"Good luck."_

         _"Lucky Penny."_

        I pulled my knees to my chest as my eyes stayed, unfocused, on the screen. 

        "As if."

        November rolled around, and on the thirteenth, I turned fourteen. It had already been two years since Fredrick and I had been brought to ACCA. Two very long, very painful years of breaking our bodies only to rebuild them in the way Abraham wanted. 

        But I didn't have time to dwell on that the day of the party. Yeah, party. Lizz and Becca had thrown me a party, with more people than I even recognized the faces of, in the room it was held. 

        The picture Coco's friend (she'll vehemently deny the title) Maria took would later become one of my most treasured possessions. Something that I'd risk everything to keep. 

        Because only a few months later... everything went from complacent, skipping right over bad, and right to worse. 

        It was December. We given a mission to retrieve very important information during a high ranking Christmas party, while also disposing of a high member, the reasons for which I wasn't privy to. 

        Lizz and Becca, code names Pain and Panic (no one was sure who was who, but it didn't much matter as they were never apart), went into the building to find the vault the information was in. Coco and Sam, code names Candy and Demon, went in to make sure Emily had a clear shot. Emily, of course, headed to the next building to find her roust. Mickey was on the lookout in the building while Fredrick was closer to me. 

        I watched it all play out from the inside of the truck. 

        I switched on the computers, using the previously implanted devices to hack into the camera so I could view what was going on inside. 

        "Positions?" I called over the headset. 

         _"Pain and Panic in position."_

_"Candy in position."_

_"Demon in position."_

        I nodded as everyone rounded off their calls of affirmation. "I've got eyes on you. We're a go."

        The coms shut off, leaving me with only the buzz of it in my ears. I listened intently, watching everyone move about the screens. Disappearing from one only to enter in another. Lizz and Becca, both dressed head to toe in black, almost got caught once. 

        But Becca threw Lizz into the air and she jumped off the wall and landed feet first into the guard. I didn't know is the legs she wrapped around his neck until he collapsed killed him or just knocked him out. From then on, they got to the vaults without any further issue. And I was left blind to them.

        I shared a look with Fredrick and we both nodded. I fiddled with the radio. "How's it looking in the ballroom?" I asked, the question directed to Coco and Sam.

        " _Found the guy_ ," Sam said, her voice crackling. " _Northwest of my current position. Pudgy guy with the red tie_."

        I turned my camera in the direction she pointed, zooming in. The camera locked onto the man and I tapped my fingers on the table covered in my tech objects. It really bothered me that I didn't know why he was on Emily's death row. More accurately, Abraham's.

        Not that it mattered. I wanted to stay alive and to do that I had a job to complete. "Target has been spotted. He's the one with the red tie and toupee."

        " _Roger that_." Emily's piece went dead for a moment and Fredrick and I were left in comfortable silence.

        A shot rang out, preluded by the crash of breaking glass. The man fell within my line of sight and Fredrick squeezed my shoulder. The crowd screamed and the coms cackled back to life. 

        " _We've got a problem,_ " Sam said over the headpiece. Fredrick and I gave each other worried looks. We looked at back at the camera and Fredrick pointed to one. I watched as Coco was being led off. One of the men held Coco's gun. In another, Sam had ripped her slinky black dress off and was dressed in only her black tank top and leggings.

        " _What's the stat?_ " Emily questioned. 

        "It's Candy," Fredrick said, leaning forward on the table to get closer to the computers. A couple more guards were advancing on Sam. "She's getting taken in, and they're taking Demon too. Demon is too close to starting a fight."

        " _I'll be there in three_."

        Fredrick looked back at me. "I'll be back," he said. "I'll go get Demon out of there. Stay here."

        I nodded. "Yeah." He pressed a peck to my lips for good luck before jumping out of the truck.

        " _Status on the floors, now_ ," Emily demanded. I heard the crash of glass on her end. 

        " _Glasses is outside in the car, fixing the cameras so you're not caught._ "

        "I'm done," I said, clicking one last button. It gave a little  _boop_ as it went into action. All the security guards would see were empty hallways.

        " _Where's Pain and Panic?_ "

        " _Pain and Panic reporting_ ," Becca said. "We're going into the belly of the beast."

        " _How long until you get it?_ "

         " _Well, just turn this here thingamajij, and we've got it_ ," Lizz commented offhandedly, followed by a click.

        " _Get the demon out of here, then, before any trouble gets caused_ ," Emily ordered. " _Abraham will have my head if I allow any unnecessary deaths._ "

        " _Roger than, Red_ ," Mickey chimed in.

        " _And don't call me Red_."

        It wasn't too much longer that I was rejoined by the boys and Sam. But there were other problems to be had; Emily and Coco were both slowly but surely being surrounded. 

         "Bad news, girls," I told them, pressing on the button on my head piece while uselessly clicking on the space bar and trying to get the elevator up and running again. The only way to do so now would be to turn on the basement generator, and we didn't have the time to spare. "Elevators are down, and about thirty more of them are on their way towards you from the stairs now."

        I turned to the three members of my team who'd joined me. "There's a ramp on the other building. Get the bikes up there and get the girls down here. They're going up to the roof."

        Without another word, not hesitating for a moment, Sam and Mickey launched out of the truck with the bikes. 

        "You can tell  _they_ have people to care about," Fredrick commented, smirking lazily. I punched his arm before grabbing his collar and pulling him closer to me. 

        "So do you. She'd just right here, you know."

        I pressed our lips together for a moment again, breaking apart when a loud double  _thump_ rang out as Lizz and Becca landed on the roof. The slid off the top and joined us in the back. "You're gonna want to be ready to go," Lizz said breathlessly.

        I moved into the driver's seat (despite being the youngest of our group- that  _still_ pissed me off) and Fredrick followed me into the passenger seat. The rev of the bikes filled the air and Mickey and Sam drove into the truck.

         "Hey, getting in some action there, eh Red?" Lizz teased, winking at Emily and nudging her in the side as they got off the bikes. Emily elbowed her harshly and she doubled over. I did not envy her at Emily's steely look. "Not getting action, definitely not action," Lizz said with a groan.

        "Hit it," Emily told me, leaning into the front seat. I barely gave a nod before pushing on the gas and we were off. It didn't take long to arrive back at HQ. I parked the car in the garage and walked through the pristine, white building. 

        "Hey, Em. Emily!" Mickey called, jogging to keep up with Emily's brisk pace. "So, I was wondering, can I take you out on Saturday?"

        Fredrick leaned on my shoulder tiredly, breathing heavily though he hadn't even been doing too much. But he'd been getting sicker easily lately, so I'd probably demand some time off before the next mission so he could recover and I could make sure he wasn't  _actually_ getting sick.

        Lizz and Becca danced around Sam and Coco, making teasing comments and remarks. 

        "You alright?" I whispered to Fredrick as I entwined our fingers. Coco shouted something at Lizz and smacked her away. Sam barely had to glare at Becca and raise an eyebrow before she was left alone. She was marginally more effective than Coco.

        "I'm fine," Fredrick promised, even as he started coughing. "It was cold out, wasn't it?" For being the middle of winter, it really hadn't been.

        I rubbed Fredrick's back even as Coco dragged Sam off and Lizz held Becca in place. "You don't sound okay," I murmured. 

        The door to inside pinged open and Maria stepped through. Her blonde hair was pulled in a fluffy ponytail over her shoulder and she held her notepad in her arms. She and Emily had a stare down for a moment before Maria finally looked away.

         "Abraham wishes to have an audience," she said coolly. "Immediately." Emily barely nodded before leaving the room. Maria headed over to Mickey as Fredrick held out a hand. Fredrick pulled him to his feet and Maria pursed her lips. "I don't understand how you let her push you around," he said softly.

        Lizz gawked. "Seriously?!" she exclaimed. "Emily's terrifying! For one thing, she's the only one of us trained exclusively as an  _assassin_. And there's good reason, too."

        Lizz shivered and Becca rubbed her thumb over Lizz's knuckles, resulting in Lizz leaning into Becca's side. Mickey just shrugged, smiling like there was nothing wrong at all.

        "She's also the team leader," he said. "And while she's not my favorite person in the world, it's something I've got to respect."

        "So you're just using her for your own means then?" My gaze shot to Coco, who'd been most quiet ever since we'd left the mission. Her violet eyes were ablaze with something I didn't know of. It was a look I hoped to never hold, because she was truly terrifying in that moment. 

        Mickey stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged again. "You heard her, didn't you?" he asked. "She's just going to use me. And aren't we all just using each other for one thing or another?"

        No one had a response to that. Fredrick stepped forward and placed a hand on Mickey's shoulder. Though Fredrick was two years younger, they stood head to head with one another. 

        "Come on, man," he said. "Let's get you to the infirmary-" He broke off and into a coughing fit. After a few moment of not stopping, my worry spike and I rushed to his side. 

        "Fredrick,  _breathe_. Come on, Freddie. Breath with me," I begged. But he couldn't stop coughing. He pulled his hand away from his mouth and it was dripping with blood. With one last cough, blood splatter over me and he slumped into my arms. "Freddie!" I screeched.

        Maria's eyes widened. "We need to get him to the infirmary!"

        She began talking into the device at her neck. Mickey hoisted the unconscious Fredrick off of me and dragged him along until one of the medical support men came and helped him carry Fredrick to the infirmary.

        I sat by Fredrick's bed all that night and into the morning, though he didn't wake until sometime around noon. When all of the Hostesses, and Maria as she had been witness to the event, were all gathered, Sarah explained how there wasn't a scratch on him, and until there were further tests done, she didn't know what had happened.

        But I'd spent far too much time in the infirmary since I'd arrived at ACCA. I knew Sarah too well to believe her lie. The look in her eyes told me she knew that, too, but her story stayed the same no matter what I said to her.

        Fredrick had been looking pale for a while, but he looked even paler over the course of two weeks. He wasn't able to keep even water down, and it didn't help that every time he began to cough it came out bloody. He admitted to me it'd been happening for a while, but he hadn't want to worry me so he'd hidden it.

        He'd gone to Sarah, but she hadn't found anything. 

_Lies, lies, lies. All you're telling me is lies._

        "I'm afraid we've found the cause," Sarah said as both a weakened Fredrick and I sat in her office. "It's... a very advanced cancer. Had we caught it sooner, we might have been able to save him."

        Her words were empty. 

_Why are you lying to me?_

        "What are you talking about?" I demanded. "Stop talking about him like he's a dead man!"

        "Penny," Sarah said softly. "There's nothing I can do for him now."

        "No!" I shouted, standing in a rush. "No! There  _has_ to be something! Chemo or- or surgery or- or  _something_! Anything! He- Fredrick  _can't_ die!"

        Sarah gave me a pitying look. "I'm sorry for your loss."

_Are you a liar now too?_

        Eventually I was pulled from her office and joined Fredrick on his bed. He gave me a meek smile. I held him close, and he felt like such skin and bones I was afraid I'd break him.

        "You know, there's always a chance my body'll fight this on its own," he said, looking up while holding me tightly. He set his chin on my head. "So who knows. Maybe I'll get better without her help."

        "You better!" I sobbed into his chest. "You better get better, Fredrick O'Hare! Don't you dare leave me alone!"

        "I'd never leave you alone," Fredrick promised. 

_Empty promises, empty thoughts, empty words. Don't you dare leave me too._

        The reactions of the other Hostesses were cold at best. Awkward, uncaring. Deep down, I knew that he wasn't going to make it. I didn't want to believe it, but everyone  _always_ left me. I was lucky to have hung onto Fredrick as long as I had. The thoughts plagued my mind and I broke down in tears in front of them.

        I had to watch as Fredrick dwindled away in front of my eyes. I couldn't just leave him to suffer  _alone_. What kind of friend, what kind of  _person_ , would I be that way? But there was a day it got too much and I didn't leave the infirmary after leaving to let him rest. Instead, I headed to Sarah's office knowing full well she was out at the moment.

        I picked the locks on her desk, shuffling through them while looking for Fredrick's medical records. What if there was something  _I'd_ missed? What if there was something  _I_ could have done to keep him from this state?

        I didn't find them in her desk, or in the ones on the shelf. However, when I looked through her purse, I found her most recent files in it, Fredrick's among them.

        They were dated to even  _before_ we'd come to ACCA. But I stood frozen when I saw the results from our first visit. Among many other things, one of the results read  _Fredrick o'Hare - Cancer spots found. Permission to treat denied_.

        The door opened just then. When I looked up, Sarah stood in the doorway in horror. 

        "You  _liar_!" I screamed, throwing the file at her. "You  _knew_! You knew the entire time and you did  _nothing_! He wouldn't be like this if you had  _treated_ him!"

        "Penny, you must understand that my hands were tied-" Sarah tried to say. But I wouldn't allow her to finish I didn't want to hear it.

        "No!" I screeched. "No! You're a  _liar_! You're supposed to be a doctor! You took an oath! You took an oath and you broke it! You- You- You  _liar_!"

        I couldn't stand to be in her vicinity any longer. I pushed past her, not once looking back, and ran out of the infirmary. Everything in the entire facility was fake. Plastic and metal and  _fake, fake, fake_! The people, the objects.

        There was nothing I could do to get away from it. Even in my still empty dorm, everything was fake. I curled in on myself. It hurt, everything hurt. Fredrick wasn't even dead yet, and I felt more alone than before.

        I spent weeks upon weeks by Fredrick's side, trying to coax water into him, only for it to be coughed out paired with dark blood moments later. I completely ignored Sarah, though I almost wished she'd give him one of those pills to put him out of his misery already.

        It wasn't authorized.  _Abraham_ ruled everything in ACCA. Every little thing. And he was letting Fredrick suffer.

        Some days Fredrick didn't even wake up, his body was so weak. Even still, I held his hands tightly. I didn't want him to suffer, but I was afraid to let him go.

        Fredrick smiled weakly at him, his golden eyes having lost all their spark and glow. "I love you, Penny, you know that?" he said with a strained chuckle. "I don't think many people would have stayed through this."

        "Anyone who didn't is a fool," I told him, squeezing his hand tight. "Because you're going to get better, okay? You'll be better soon enough, and then we can go out on missions. And one of these days, we'll get out of here. We'll get out and go- go see the world!" I cracked a grin and Fredrick lifted a hand to my hair.

        "Yeah, I'd like that," he murmured. "I always wondered how the sun would shine on your hair on the beach."

        "I'm sure you won't tan too well," I teased. "You'll look like a strawberry. Maybe a cranberry."

        Fredrick laughed and closed his eyes, laying back down and laying a hand down on his chest. "That'll be a sight..."

        I squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckle. "I'll be back later, okay?" I said as I stood. "After you get some rest." I turned to go and Fredrick's hand fell from my grasp, where he'd usually hang on until I was too out of reach. I turned back around. "Fredrick?" I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Freddie?"

        I couldn't see a rise in his chest. I stumbled back, tripping over my own feet and falling to the ground. The weapons previously in my belt scattered.

        "Help!" I screamed. "Help him! Someone!"

        There seemed to be people coming from everywhere. People pumping on Fredrick's chest. Someone screaming though it fell on deaf ears. It might have been me. Someone was holding me back as I tried to run to him.

        "He's gone," someone said, and that I heard with perfect clarity.

         _"He's gone."_

_"Your hands are so big compared to mine. I just look so- teeny standing next to you."_

_"There's no need to be so down about it. Teeny is useful too, you know."_

_"Knew you could do it."_

_"Are you a prince?"_

_"Wha-What would make you think I'm a prince?!"_

_"For you, my princess. May your dreams be forever fulfilled from this day onward."_

_"Kill the small one."_

_"Don't you dare touch her!"_

_It can't be- It can't be happening again!_

_"Y-You kn-know, I- I've always l-loved your hair."_

_"We were supposed to be a family!"_

_"We're going to make it: you're my good luck charm!"_

_"Penny," Daddy spoke quietly, in that deep voice of his. "Do it."_

_I shook my head. "I-I c-c-can't!" I said. "I can't pull the trigger!"_

_"Did you really think I'd let them take you all alone?"_

_"So do I look weird?"_

_"The weirdest."_

_"I trust you. I always have."_

_"Wherever you are is my home."_

_Who lives?_

_Who dies?_

_Who gets to live; who has to die?_

_Whose choice is this? Whose? We are not gods. Why do we decide? How is it our place?_

_A choice. A gun in my hand, pointing at their faces. "Make the choice," he hissed. "You... or them?"_

         A gun on the floor, right by my feet. A thousand people all around who had let him die. 

_I can't pick it up!_

_They let him die._

_I'll kill them!_

_Don't they deserve it?_

_I can't, I can't, I can't!_

        I picked up the fallen gun and stood slowly. 

        Sarah turned from her place by Fredrick's bed, her expression solemn. "Penny, I'm sorry," she murmured. "I- I did all I could."

        I raised the gun and pointed it at her. No one moved, everyone froze. Sarah took a step back, her eyes going wide in fear. 

        "Penny, what are you-"

        "Penny isn't here anymore," I stated, tilting my head to the side and grinning widely. "It's Nikki now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coco: I knew it! Fuck! This just-!
> 
> Lizz: Author-chan has had writers block on this for a while, and this was heavier in this one!
> 
> Becca: Quit ruining stuff that happened first in your story!
> 
> Sam: Get back to the preview.
> 
> Mickey: I'm not fond of this version of Penny- ack!
> 
> Nikki: Haven't you heard? Penny's gone now.
> 
> Coco: Emily, save her!
> 
> Emily: I'm trying!
> 
> Sam: Also check out what's going on with Emily, because that's relevant.
> 
> Nikki: Next time, in chapter 8.
> 
> Lizz + Becca: Sooooo not the time.


	8. A Spiderweb of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so too now do we see the calamity Nikki has wrought.

        I wish I could say that Nikki was stopped. I wish I could say that no one died at my hand. That I was held down and Sarah was taken care of and saved. But of course, if you're reading this and know and remember the things that happened, you'd well know that things don't happen like that.

        I'm not lucky.

        The most confusing part is that I _am_ Nikki. But I am also Penny. I am two people inside the same body, both conscious beings. Even if I was not in control, even if it was Nikki, it is still my hands I have to look at. It is still my hands who bear the memories of what I caused. Because I'm not just Penny. I'm Nikki too.

        The beginning. That's where I need to start.

        More over, what happened after Fredrick died. 

        The words "Penny isn't here anymore. It's Nikki now." left my mouth before I knew that they would.

        The bullet pierced Sarah's chest, blood soaking her clothing. Her mouth was gaping and eyes wide as she fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. The others charged at me, it was obvious from the blankness in Sarah's eyes there was no use in trying to save her; she was already gone.

        I was too fast for them to catch. The gun shot once, twice. One spun with the bullet as it hit his shoulder. The other fell with a bullet straight thought her skull. When the man tried to come at me again, I launched off the bed behind me, vaulting over the one that separated us and landing on his chest on my knees. In a moment, I pressed the gun to his chest and pulled the trigger.

        His eyes were barely glazed when I stood.

        _Stop! Stop it!_

_They won't hurt you again! I won't let them!_

        My feet pounded on the ground, exiting the infirmary. 

        Smiling faces greeted me as soon as I reached the main auditorium. Hundreds of "students" milling about, doing their daily activities.

_Dogs of the ones who killed Fredrick._

        The girl who'd smiled at me went pale and screamed as soon as I raised the gun. The sound was cut off by the bullet that lodged herself in her body. Her group of friends all attempted to scatter, but I quickly put a stop to that, doing things I wouldn't ever imagine doing otherwise. 

        I leaped and slammed a boy into the ground, cracking his skull against the ground. The other girl I'd managed to take down with us attempted to crawl away until I shot into the back of her skull.

        Most of it became a blur of _red, red, red_. It became nothing less than a bloodbath. Dampness soaked into my uniform. The rumble of laughter shook my body. I wanted to not see, but it was a curse to watch. To watch and give up a little as I mourned and cried in my mind.

        _Fredrick wouldn't have wanted this._

_Fredrick is dead because of them!_

        "Penny, stop this! This isn't you!" Maria screamed, pouncing on me. She pulled my arms back, attempting to restrain me. "Please, Penny-!"

        "You're right," I growled. "This isn't me. Why? Because I'm not Penny."

        And then I threw her over me. She didn't carry her heavy weaponry that she used. The ones that would have easily decapitated me. You'd think she would have learned not to trust people after what happened with the deserters and her teammates.

        I growled, lunging for her. 

        Even without her weapons, Maria had still been in the facility far longer than I had, and that made her strong.  She was nineteen. She had more time, more experience. 

        But she was too soft hearted. She didn't have the ability to be fueled by rage. Insanity, yes, when she summoned it. But rage was out of the question. 

        "Anger is more useful, wrath is more powerful, rage is more devastating," I seethed, sweat and blood dripping off of my body and running down my forehead. "And if I shall burn in this fire- I WILL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME!"

        Grappling with one another, fists and hands everywhere. There was a broken bone, and a pang of Nikki's that the bone hadn't been her neck. The butt of the gun connect with Maria's forehead just moments before she kicked me off of her. 

        She went to stand, but froze as her eyes trained on the gun. I cocked it and pointed it right at her forehead, the sounds of screaming all fading. Distantly, I could tell that we were mostly alone. But I couldn't move my eyes, still glaring sharply at Maria. My teeth were grit in a malicious grin.

        Blurrily, I noticed the rest of the Hostesses surrounding us in a circle. 

_That's fine. Makes my job easier. This one, then Emily. The two closest dogs to Abraham!_

        "Penny, stop!"

        That was Sam. She didn't have a serious connection to Maria. She didn't care about either of us. The only person who Sam really cared about was- _Oh_. Coco was there. And Coco _cared_ , no matter how hard she tried to hide it, for _Maria_.

        I laughed, the sound merciless and unforgiving. It would forever haunt my nightmares. After this day, I would not be able to ever have pleasant dreams again. Even if I should ever get to sleep once more.

        "Penny isn't here anymore."

        That was about to become her catchphrase if she said it one more time. Me. I said it. But I'm Penny and both Nikki at the same time. Penny but not. 

        The shot rang out, echoing in my ears. It was headed right for Maria- except it never made contact. With her. Coco, with tears streaming down her face, stood in front of Maria, her arms out wide. She screamed in agony as the bullet tore through her, falling to the ground. Maria screamed as well, but hers was in horror.

        I shrugged nonchalantly. _Oh well. Just need another bullet then._

        "Emily, we need you!" Maria screamed. 

        "I've got this!" Emily called, running for me at the speed of light.

        Her first hit was adeptly avoided. Her next was blocked. Her kick was parried with a hit of my own. But unlike Maria, Emily was _fueled_ by rage. Nikki, or rather I in the state of floating I was in and dissociation I was in, could read Emily like a book. Her rage was, perhaps, not fueled because of me. But it coursed trough her veins like she didn't even have enough room for blood in there.

        The reflection in her icy eyes showed my face with an excited, maniacal expression. 

        It took only one moment of a too slow reaction, and Emily had me in a headlock and I couldn't breath well. Emily made a snapping motion with my wrist and the gun flew out of it. And then I was settled back in my body, a vicious force swimming around and raging in the back of my mind, though I knew she wouldn't wake until I touched a gun again.

        My body felt heavier than ever, the feel of blood soaking my clothes and skin finally making its way into my mind. My knees locked and I felt as if I'd fall over if Emily let me go.

        I looked around, and saw only the horror that had been on Fredrick's face after Gabriela had died- _oh god, no_. 

        Emily did let me go and I fell to my knees, blood stained hands coming to cover my face. I hurt, I hurt _so much_. I was a fool, knowing what I'd done and what would happen but doing it anyway. 

         "Not again, not again," I sobbed. "No, no, not again."

        There was an isolation chamber, made of nothing but metal and the cushioned floor, that I was placed in. I only knew the passage of time by the single meal I got per day, and even then I lost track of the days. They didn't even allow me to clean the blood off before I was shut in the room. Several times someone came to question me about my actions. The only explanation I gave was Nikki.

        Nikki, a name I hadn't associated with myself even after I'd been legally adopted with it. Nikki, the name Fredrick had called me for most of our lives. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. The name that now belonged, rightfully, to the part of me that was meant to _hurt_. What had I done to so many in an effort to get away before ACCA?

        "Nikki" was the only word I spoke. I was finally let out of the isolation room, and taken to the showers. I was stripped bare and under surveillance the entire time.

        I was numb as I stood under the beating water drops. I leaned my forehead against the tiled wall. The reality that I had nothing after getting out of the isolation room had hit me like a train, and it made me sick. I'd thrown up acid and had proceeded to dry heave until several hours later, realizing that Fredrick was _gone_. He was gone and he wasn't coming back.

        I pounded on the wall and screamed out as dried blood swam in the water down the drain. The screams echoed off the walls and my fist felt bruised, but I couldn't stop. I turned and fell back against the wall, the screams turning into sobs. 

_Why should I be feeling sorry? I killed them. I killed them. I killed them. No matter how hard I scrub, they'll never come clean._

        He was gone and I was a mess and I was alone. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. I didn't deserve this. The shower, the food, even the _air_ I was breathing! Not for what I'd done!

        But giving me over to the other side, where I might see Fredrick once more- that was too kind. So maybe- maybe it _was_ my punishment.

        I couldn't tell you how long I stayed under the water, only that it scalded my skin by the time I actually cleaned it off. 

        I expected to be led back to isolation, or to further questioning. Neither happened. Instead, I was led back to the dorms. No one was about as I was led towards them. In the section that split off between the girls and boys dorms, I stopped. I looked over to the woman who'd been leading me about.

        "I want Fredrick's things," I said, my voice cracked and quiet and raw from all the screaming, and then previous disuse.

        I shouldn't have been allowed. She shouldn't have agreed. But she granted me the small mercy anyhow. And for that, I couldn't be anything but grateful.

        I was only given a single box to pack his things in. His side of the room was obvious. He'd always been a neat person. His video camera still sat on his nightstand. He hadn't used it in so long. It'd been something he'd been anonymously gifted when we'd arrived at ACCA. He hadn't used it much after we became part of a team and began going on missions.

        It was small, so I packed it into the box. Sweaters, pictures, and other personal affects that I would keep around to remember him by. There was a collection of memory cards I found in the drawer of the nightstand and stuffed in the box.

        When the box was full, I was escorted back to my room. Amy's bed had been taken out, but all my things had been left alone. I was evidently not going to be expecting another roommate anytime soon. 

        I placed the box on the floor as soon as the door had been locked and shut behind me. I stripped out of the temporary plain white shirt and jeans I'd been given and pulled on the gray sweater on the top of the pile of things. Even after all this time, it still smelled of Fredrick.

        With only that to cover me, I curled up in a ball on the bed, crying as though I hadn't even barely shed a tear before. And like that, I fell asleep.

        Let me tell you, some people need to be alone when they're sad. Some people just need to grieve while away from people. It helps them because they're emotionally unstable and it physically hurts to cry in front of others. 

        I've never been one of those people. I've always been an easy crier, and I've often been called emotional. Fredrick- Fredrick was there with me for the worst of times. 

        That day when I'd woken up, nine years old, all alone in my house. Joshua, who'd always claimed to be my big brother though he was two years younger than me, was not in his room. Was not in our parents' room. Was not outside, was not at a neighbors. My adopted parents were nowhere. 

        There was no trace of them anywhere. It was almost as if they'd never existed at all.

        And it hurt. It hurt _so much_. I waited around at the front window all day, _hoping_ that they'd come home. Night fell and no one came. I'd thought I'd gained my forever family and in a moment lost _everything_. Fredrick had found me the next morning, little more than unconscious on the stairs, and I sobbed out the whole story to him.

        He was _there_. Like my parents, like my adopted parents, like my brother, like Gabriela- and one by one, they all left me. Each and every one of them, I never _once_ thought they'd leave me alone. And all at once, every _single_ time!- I was. 

        A gun, in the hand. My hand. Boom. _Bang_. Dead, and I'm alone again.

        Fredrick had been there.

        And now he was gone.

        I didn't sleep. I _couldn't_. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw blood and pale faces and glazed eyes. I had been bad _before_ \- before the _incident_. But afterwards, with no one there, nothing was the same.

        Instead of sleep, my mind worked. And with my mind, so too did my pen. Most of the time, pencil really. But same concept. Images, mostly Fredrick, littered the room. I blankly drew, only thinking of the pages before. Occasionally, I thought of _What will they do with me now_?

        Those questions, however, I felt were better left unanswered. 

        Many days later, if it could said, Coco of all people came by.

        Her eyes were cold, and I couldn't help but feel that perhaps she'd come to get _revenge_ or something for harming Maria. Not that I'd blame her. Or fight back. I'd done enough to deserve it.

        I didn't expect what I got.

        "So this is what you've done for the last month," she muttered, tossing the images. They held suspended in the air for a moment, then gravity took hold and they drifted to the ground. 

        I stalled, not looking up at her. "Why are you here?" I didn't really expect the quietness of my voice. How broken it sounded. But from days of crying and not speaking, I shouldn't have been surprised. 

        "Well, I'm supposed to be here, aren't I?" Coco questioned, discarding some crumpled up papers from the end of the bed so she could sit comfortably. "You know, the whole 'We're teammates so we've got to be there for each other' shindig, right?"

        I looked down and allowed hair to fall in my face like a curtain to hide me from the world. "You came, you saw, now you can kindly  _get out_ ," I bit out. I pulled my knees to my chest, not minding the fallen paper I'd been working on.

        "What is this?" Coco questioned in confusion. 

        "It was supposed to have Fredrick's ashes," I muttered, only barely looking up. "But they wouldn't even let me have those." Nothing to ease the pain.

        Coco sighed heavily, irritably, setting the unfinished image aside. "What  _happened_?" Coco finally asked.

        I glowered, pulling closer into myself. " _Nikki_ happened," I growled. _Nikki_ who killed them. _Nikki_ who wouldn't leave me in peace. _Nikki_ who was supposed to be the other side of me and allow me to _leave_ my consciousness so I didn't have to deal with the world.

        "Who's... Nikki?"

        Coco's expression held all the confusing emotions in my mind that I'd never be able to understand. I didn't know why I was so angry at Nikki, it wasn't _her_ who picked up the gun. That was all me. I _consciously_ did that.

        My expression fell and I moved to curl my legs under me, hugging a pillow to my chest. "It's- It's not exactly her fault. It's- It's mostly mine. I- I- I- I don't  _know_ what I was thinking. I- I was just- just so,  _so_  sad and angry-"

        "Penny. Who. Is. Nikki?"

        I roughly pressed the burning tears in my eyes away and took in a deep breath. "I have D.I.D., dissasociative identity disorder. Well, you've probably heard it more described as a multi-personality disorder." I hugged the pillow closer. "Nikki, she's- Well. I- We- We share the same body, and I guess we  _technically_ have the same brain. But, it's, um, well, she- she didn't- she isn't- She's not  _me_ , persay. We're two different people with different feelings and personalities and- and- and everything. She's just- just kinda  _there_ and I have no say in that but she doesn't come out unless I touch a gun which I know I know I know but I still grabbed the gun back then and- and- and I was just so angry and scared and disconsolate and I wasn't  _thinking_ and I just wanted to not be  _me_ and the only way I could think of was Nikki but that was a bad idea and I knew that and when she saw Fredrick she- she just-"

        I was grabbed by Coco and roughly shaken before my rambling could go any further. I blinked the blurriness away, feeling the burning tears slips down my cheeks.

        "Breath, Penny, before you end up killing yourself too," Coco demanded. 

        I took in a deep breath as Coco instructed before pulling her hands off me. "I'm... fine now. I think."

        Coco rolled her eyes and terribly suppressed a groan. "You are most certainly  _not_ fine," she stated, and I couldn't agree more. 

        I was shuddering. When had that started? "No, no I'm not," I agreed without hesitation, my hand going over my mouth to try to muffle the sobs coming from it. "But I- But I have to be. I have to stay here, keep learning, keep living. But Fredrick died-  _died for nothing_!"

        Coco's confusion only seemed to grow. "But you said-"

        "Damn what I said!" I screamed, pulling at my hair and no longer caring to muffle my anguish. "They  _knew_! They've known since we arrived here! I went searching for  _any_ sign that might have saved him! Something  _I_  could have missed! And it was there! Everything! All of his medical documents, proving that  _they'd known_  since the first week we'd been here!" My voice continued to get shriller the more I talked, but I couldn't be bothered to care. "They'd found the cancer early on. Early enough to  _save him_. But they  _chose not to_. I'll  _never_ forgive them."

        "Then get your revenge," Coco said, jumping off the bed. Her jacket fluttered around her as she did so. 

        "What?!" I shrieked, my jaw going agape. Going against ACCA would get me killed, and though I wasn't actively trying to not die, it still wasn't a pleasant thought. I had a punishment to pay. "I- I-  _ca_ \- What- How?!"

        Coco reached into her jacket before spinning around once more, making her jacket rise. "Join us," she said, smirking. "Join us in bringing down this shit hole. We're not pawns to be toyed and played with, and I don't have a need to feel that way like they've made you." She pulled her hand out of her pocket and held out a knife to me. "Can't use a gun? Fine. Perfect. Use a weapon you can. Get off the ground. Spit out your blood and bare your teeth; if you're going down, go down a savage. Go down fighting."

        I looked from Coco to the knife and back again. "Why?" I asked, knowing how pathetic I must have sounded.

        "Because this placed has fucked me over just as much."

        After a moment of hesitation, I took hold of the knife, clasping my hand over Coco's. "I'm in."

        It would likely be my downfall. But Fredrick's death _wasn't_ my fault. It was ACCA's. And me and Nikki- we had the same idea. But I couldn't do anything recklessly, because I had a penitence to serve now because of her. So many lives to live for because of the blood on my hands.

        I would bring it down for forcing my hand.

        Coco smirked, her violet eyes alight. "Good to know, Roggers."

        When I slept that night, I slept better than I had in a good while. All I dreamed of was falling through black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizz: In the beginning, there was nothing.  
> Becca: And from a combusting star, the universe was made.  
> Lizz: So, does that mean that now, that Penny's light has been destroyed, something new will come of it?  
> Becca: Dear God, it seems like it. And on top of it all, oh look! An overseas mission!  
> Lizz: And Emily's about to be an idiot, isn't she?  
> Becca: When is she not? Anyway-  
> Lizz: Keep you and and your petty crushes in your own book until it effects everyone.  
> Becca: Fine.  
> Penny: Next time, chapter nine. We start a new arc of my life.


End file.
